it just makes me sad.

This will probably sound ridiculous… but it’s making me so sad. I have tears.

An app my daughter loves on her phone updated to a new version and she hates it. It’s totally different and she’s miserable. She cried for over an hour about it. My husband tried to install the older version but it didn’t work. She doesn’t know yet… she fell asleep while he was trying to fix it. She is going to be devastated when she wakes up.

I don’t know why my husband couldn’t fix it. There are instructions all over the place explaining how to do this. He’s really good with this sort of thing… I don’t know why it didn’t work. But if he couldn’t do it, I think it would be a bad idea for me to try. I know what I’m doing less than he does. I don’t want to fuck up her phone.

I know it seems like it’s not a big deal, but to her, it’s huge. She uses it with her friends and she is convinced she will have no friends now. There’s nothing I can do. It makes me feel sick.

There’s always something. Always. My family… always something. If any little thing can go wrong, it does for us. I just want my girl to be happy. What the hell kind of mother am I if I can’t make her happy? I hate Mother’s Day. It just emphasizes how much of a failure I am.



About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in anxiety, life, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to it just makes me sad.

  1. I hope she remembered to wish you Happy Mother’s day and give you a hug when she woke up. Hugs to you Sandra.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gigglingfattie says:

    Maybe the initial change in the app is no good, but can she learn to like it? I know it’s not the same and to a tween it’s the end of the world, but maybe after a few days of using it, it will be better?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jheelam says:

    I don’t have any tip to offer on app (being the tech-oblivious) but on a different note: please don’t be so hard on yourself as a mother.

    I don’t have children but have seen my own mother and other moms in my family/surroundings having self-inflicted guilt-trips and becoming miserable at the end of the day.
    Moms are not superheroes as projected by the popular patriarchal media. Not every onus lies onto them. Take Care.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Meg says:

    If her app updated so will all her friends’ apps. And a lot of times the older version will stop being supported and won’t work anymore too. So all the kids will be using the new version, too. She will get used to it. Kids are adaptable especially with technology. Truly!Give yourself a break today, Sandra! ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m sorry. I haven’t figured out how to stop blaming myself. I’ve done it my whole life so it takes a long time to change it. I’m working on it. I am being treated for depression. I wish it was a quick fix but it’s not. And I tend to use my blog partially to vent when I feel bad. And I also have trouble letting go of my past decisions and my regrets. Again, I’m trying. I’m working on it. I have been going through a particularly bad time lately. I’m sorry this is getting old. I don’t consider it to be BS. But I can see how people would. I am always concerned I’m going to drive people away because I talk about these things often but everyone always says if I need to write and share it, do it. So I do. But I guess maybe I shouldn’t. Unfortunately, lately it’s overwhelming and I haven’t been able to write anything else. Maybe I should disappear for a while if this is too much. I don’t want to lose my friends. I feel terrible about this post and all the recent ones now. This has really upset me. Sorry, I am not in a great place. And now I feel worse since it’s “getting old”. Happy Mother’s Day.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hunida says:

    I hate app updates! Poor girl! 😣

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hope your day went well. Meg is right, our stupid apps keep updating and not always at the same time, but eventually everyone’s will. Those preteens take everything to heart. It will be better…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Marquessa says:

    I echo all of the above. Especially that all of her friends will be in the same boat and will relearn it. Is that only with Apple?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. mydangblog says:

    I’m so sorry. And I totally understand. I hate when something I’m used to suddenly changes and becomes unfamiliar and frustrating. But the fact that you care so much about this makes you an excellent mother, definitely not a failure.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Mel Gutiér says:

    Doubt you’re a failure… you know how many Mom’s don’t give a flip about meeting their children’s basic needs? Are you meeting her basic needs? Shelter, food, clothes? Love? I’m pretty sure you’re an awesome Mom! 💖💞💖

    Liked by 1 person

  11. jrvincente says:

    I hate when they do that. 😦 I empathize completely.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. We all feel like a failure at some point, but things will get better. I’m sure your kids will understand and appreciate how great you are as a mom! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I like this post because it hit my emotions pretty hard. 😦 I hope you start feeling better.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Reblogged this on Feelings Uncensored and commented:
    It hit my emotions.


thoughts? talk to me.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.