my day so far.

If there was any doubt in my mind that I hate Christmas, it’s gone. No doubt left. I hate it.

Today I thought I should try doing a little Christmas shopping with my lack of money. Stressful even before I leave the house. But I needed to get a couple of things, including something for that damn j-o-e-y swap. (Love you, Joey… no offense.)

Well.

I won’t bother detailing the entire experience. But I’ll tell you that the end result was… socks. Not even a Christmas gift… my daughter just decided to tell me this morning that all her socks are too small and she has none… thanks for letting me know, kid! Socks. Oh, and how could I forget the phone call to Mom and tears streaming down my face in the middle of Target. Can I ever show my face in there again?

I can’t wait ‘til January. Why did I wait until now to do this crap? I want to order online. I assume it will still get here in time. But part of me doesn’t even care anymore. Part of me never cared in the first place.

Bite me, Christmas.

And… before all of that happened…

This morning I was in the shower where I usually do lots of thinking (too much). But sometimes I do get great ideas while I’m in there. Too bad my memory sucks and I usually forget them all. Anyway…

I was washing my face when I heard this loud banging thud. Oh Fuck. Someone broke into the house. Someone drove their car into the house. The water heater exploded. Fuck Fuck Fuck. I turned off the water and dried myself as quickly as possible. Sure, maybe I was about to be murdered, but I was not going to track water all over the house. I don’t want to have to clean that up!

I wrapped the towel around me started frantically running around the house trying to figure out where the noise came from. No one in the house with me. Good. No car in the living room. Good. No basement explosion. Good. Note to self: be careful running naked, but for a towel, down the basement stairs. Of course, I don’t know what I thought I was going to do if there was someone in the house… you know, having broken in through the basement back door. I didn’t have a weapon. I didn’t even have clothes. What the hell was I going to do? Whip them with my towel?

I called my husband at work. He said if nothing looks wrong, he’s sure everything’s fine. Super helpful, as always.

And after all of that, I had to get back in the shower because I hadn’t fully rinsed the conditioner from my hair.

I am still not sure what the fuck that noise was.

 


©2017 what sandra thinks

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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37 Responses to my day so far.

  1. I know it doesn’t solve anything or fix anything, but I hope knowing that I would hug you, solely out of compassion, would be encouraging… ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Normally when that happens to me I find it is a bird that flew into the window! I only discover it when I spot the greasy shape of a bird in flight, on the glass.
    Idea for daughter’s Christmas – a sock expander! Only joking.

    Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Meg says:

    Ah, Peter is probably right about the bird. Or maybe just the severe cold caused it. cold makes building materials do weird stuff -expand, contract. Hang in there sweetie. Hugs. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Simon says:

    Not knowing what the fuck a noise is can be really unnerving…

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Our sunroom makes God awful noises that we’ve assumed after years of trying to figure it out have to do with cold/heat changes. The noises are downright unnerving and there really is no pattern to it. Hugs and strength for getting through the holidays this year. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  6. A strategically placed sharp whip of a wet towel can be debilitating, to be sure. And to do so, you’d be standing there naked, so that’d probably result in just the distraction needed to get said whip of a wet towel on target successfully.

    And speaking of Target, Im sure you’re not the first person to sob in Target. The thought of going there always makes my wife tear up. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Marquessa says:

    Ice cracking on roof will give you a heart attack. And I hate shopping too!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. sorryless says:

    I’m thinking that noise could have been Jacob Marley, just dropping by to let you know Christmas ain’t so bad, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hunida says:

    I am so scared of someone breaking into my house, I even have nightmares about it. I wouldn’t even have been able to get back in the shower until someone else came home! I hope it was just something silly.
    I really think if you find the right products on Amazon that are “fulfilled by Amazon” all your gifts will arrive on time!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Well, my daughter’s birthday IS Christmas and I just started shopping for her yesterday (at 5 Below), so, I feel ya from the poor side. F Xmas.

    Liked by 1 person

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