old and untitled. #poetry

I found this poem in an old journal. I wrote it 21 years ago. (So, you know, when I was 8. Ahem. Stop laughing.) I cannot decide if it’s embarrassing or not. You tell me. Unless the answer is yes. Then lie to me. No, seriously…

(Edit: I need to clarify! I was not really 8! I just like people to think I’m currently 29… which sadly, I am not. I won’t divulge my real age, but yeah… I wasn’t 8!)

I want to let go
I want to run away
No one is holding me
Why would I want to stay?
There are sirens
Ringing in my head
Wrapped up in my heart
Flashing lights in red
Hide them, cover them
Pretend they are silent
Imagine all is black
And nothing is violent
But if I open my eyes
And look deep inside
I see that burning soul
Struggling to survive
I hear the screaming
All alone and bitter
I try to silence it
and watch it wither
I used to think
It would work in the end
Now the only vision
Is one I cannot comprehend
Should we not all find
A partner, a love, a soulmate?
I cannot give that up
But my hope disintegrates
Nothing in my heart now
But cold and bitter wind
When the love I need finds me
He must warm me from within

swash.
Β©1996-2017 what sandra thinks

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves music, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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30 Responses to old and untitled. #poetry

  1. Well, I didn’t find it embarrassing at all. Pretty good for an 8 year old. 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nortina S. says:

    Wow! This is really good! Especially for someone so young. A prodigy in the making! But the themes seem so deep for a child to comprehend. Part of me wonders what on earth 8-year-old you was going through?

    But then I remember an excerpt from my brother’s writing journal when he was 10: “I’ve decided that I’ve given up on love.”

    And I remember a song I wrote when I was 3: “Oh desire for my heart forever / Will you love me if we’re still not together / Do you want to have dinner at a table to love each other / Do you want to have dinner at a table for two?

    πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Children can be so dramatic!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Okay, I feel bad now. I was kidding about the age… I am not 29… That’s just what I like to tell people. I’m sorry! I was trying to be funny… I didn’t mean to mislead!! But you and your brother… those are impressivly deep thoughts at those ages!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. MoJo says:

    You were 8?? I had two very distinct immediate reactions (these are exactly what I thought). 1 – That is incredible that an 8 year old could write something like that. 2 – Oh shiznet. My two older monkeys are 10 & 12, and if an 8 year old could write that, what deep scathing pieces have my kids written about my failed parenting attempts and how much longer do I have before the school counselor will feel compelled to give me a personal call to discuss all of it?

    It was beautiful Sandra. Clearly your soul has had something to say from the jump. Gorgeous stuff lovely.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Not embarrassing at all!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Well-written and full of longing.

    Like

  6. Meghan Tregellis says:

    No way should you be embarrassed. Some of those intense emotions we feel as young people still resonate later in life. Like this one. I love how everyone bought that you’re 29! πŸ˜ƒπŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

  7. pluviolover says:

    I like it, but I like even more that you found and posted it. I can sense an impatience in the quick short lines. I wonder how you would write it today. It’s cool.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. magarisa says:

    Definitely not embarrassing.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh, I’m totally confused now. So really you are 8 now, and you wrote this 21 years ago……hang on, let me get this right. No, still confused, but my doctor is giving me something for it.

    I reckon you were about 17. However, I’m still confused!

    Liked by 1 person

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