bitchfest | e – emojis #atozchallenge

#atozchallenge 2017 | bitchfest | what sandra thinks

e | emojis

I hate the word. And I hate them. Oh… I give in and use them… and I hate myself a little more every fucking time. I don’t want to use them. I feel like a child when I do. It makes me cringe and I’m desperate to stop. But how can I? I have to use them, don’t I? I have a tendency toward sarcasm… and, well, you know… bitchiness. Without those stupid little faces, my tone may be lost… I may be misunderstood. I’ll be offending people all frickin’ day long. So… what then? Get rid of the fucking emojis and the sarcasm? Ha! The latter is not going to happen. I don’t even think it’s possible without a lobotomy.

Do you know who loves emojis? My 9-year-old daughter. She and her friends are capable of having entire conversations in emojis. It’s horrific. And for fuck’s sake, they made a movie. I shit you not. A fucking emoji movie. Ugh. And it gets worse (seems impossible, I know). Patrick Stewart is the voice of poop. Professor X. Captain fucking Picard. Is. Poop. The world truly has gone mad.

What the hell was wrong with ascii? [Fuck, I’m old.] Such creativity! Now you can’t even use a simple colon and parenthesis because they get autocorrected to a fucking emoji. It’s a goddamn conspiracy! Can’t I just be left alone to smile : ) or pout : ( or cry :’ ( or laugh : D ? Can’t I just stick my tongue out : P or be shocked : o or be emotionless : | or uncertain : \ ? I want to wear my shades B ) and maybe even summon Homer Simpson (_8^(I).

Even naughtiness is possible… for girls and boys… ( , Y , )  8===>  

Making things simple is not an improvement. Not in this case. Everything’s better when you make it from scratch…

And what about asterisks? Those were essential before this emoji hell fell upon us. All you had to do was say what you felt… surrounded by asterisks. For example: I should have been in bed hours ago. *sigh* I’m going to be in hell tomorrow morning. *sob* 

That’s so much more charming than a fucking hideous yellow face.

(No offense, Homer.)

[Disclaimer: I do not intend to offend. If you love and enjoy using emojis, knock yourself out! Hell, I end up using them, too. I certainly don’t and won’t hold it against anyone.]


what sandra thinks @ redbubble

#atozchallenge | bitchfest
© 2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy, too. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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45 Responses to bitchfest | e – emojis #atozchallenge

  1. 😃👊🏻😂🍻

    Liked by 1 person

  2. magarisa says:

    That’s one cute cat! (Not sarcastic, so no need for a wink emoji.)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Iain Kelly says:

    I hate emoji’s too. Love this post, great rant and practical solutions.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. VictoryInTrouble says:

    Aww, I love certain emojis. Like the naughty ones. 🍆🍑 😈 And the kiss- 💋. And all the hearts. I think the hearts make people feel good. They make me feel good. 😊 Here’s one for you ❤ 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha! I agree — they do make people feel good. If I never saw one again, I’d probably start to think people hated me. LOL They do serve a purpose. But for some reason, I don’t like that *I* use them so much. Doesn’t bother me when other people use them. (Well, to the extent my daughter does… that’s just crazy!)

      I think I’m somewhat old-school in some ways and I liked the creativity before it all became so standard… I mean… ( , Y , ) those are cute boobs! (_|_) A little bum? And you know, boy parts… 8====> Haha! I actually don’t even think of the heart as being an emoji because I can make it on my laptop by just hitting alt-3… it’s like a regular character. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Marquessa says:

    I’m learning so much more about you! I love it. And here are a few emojis for your viewing pleasure!😎😍😘😆

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Marquessa says:

    Lol of course!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Meg Sorick says:

    Oh my god I have to show you my Dalek… well not MY Dalek, but some clever soul (nerd) made a Dalek out of keyboard symbols. Hang on….

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I like Emojii things… Whatever they are. What I hate is the damn Slefie sticks.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Once again, you make me laugh. Cannot wait for the letter F!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I used to dislike emojis until I discovered the side-eye emoji. I side-eye everything multiple times a day so it’s nice to just let the little yellow face do it for me. That emoji has saved me from developing frown lines. I owe it everything, lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha… I love this comment! I admit, I do have a few favorites even though I often feel that I’m not acting my age using them. The side-eye is one of them… and straight-face… and only eyes. Ahh! See? I get sucked in!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: experiment and regret. | what sandra thinks

  12. Mary B says:

    I can’t stand emojis! They don’t always translate well between platforms, so there is often a miscommunication. I feel like I’m talking to a child and want to scream at them “USE YOUR WORDS!!!”

    Jingle Jangle Jungle
    #AtoZChallenge 1970’s Billboard Hits

    Liked by 1 person

  13. So the other week I was en route to our quarterly financial meeting. The CFO was running late so he texted “start without me.” The Controller texted a thumbs up….problem was, the CFO didn’t have his reading glasses and he misread which finger it was. LMAOOOOOOO MOST INTERESTING FINANCIAL MEETING EVAH

    Liked by 1 person

  14. BoldBeat&NipLESS says:

    Lol!!! This is great! I feel the same way! Like you have to have some emotion if your humor is dry. Also. Lets be honest.. we can get away with saying a little more when that little face is on there!!! Haha!

    Liked by 1 person

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