[Disclaimer the first: I am unapologetically opinionated. This is me… full-bitch mode… blunt and honest… ranting about things I hate. Please don’t be offended by anything I may say… it’s not personal. Except to me.]
[Disclaimer the second: I’m sorry my posts are too long. For a-to-z, the recommendation is somewhere around 300 words per post. I’m way off. I will try to rein it in a bit in my future posts.]
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c | clichés
This is going to be really, um, bitchy. You’ve been warned.
I HATE clichés. And those fucking ‘motivational’ sayings… fuck yeah, they motivate me! They motivate me to beat the fuck out of whoever says them to me.
I don’t care if there’s a spec of truth in those clichés. They are awful. Painful. Trite. Not at all helpful. In fact, they are the opposite. When I feel like ass, nothing makes me feel worse than having clichés thrown at me. If you want to truly drive me over the edge, the one I’m usually barely hanging on to, go ahead and hit me with a cliché. But be careful… I might hit back.
I get that people are trying to be helpful… to be positive… to be encouraging. But clichés don’t accomplish any of that. They make me feel worse. So much worse.
Some of you may be tempted to respond to this post explaining why some of these are true, why they make sense, why they are valid and helpful. Not to be a bitch, but… to be a bitch… I don’t want to hear it. Maybe this stuff helps some people. In fact, I’m sure it helps some people. But it doesn’t help me.
Maybe I’m selfish (maybe?!), but if someone’s going to offer me some wisdom or advice, it really does need to be specific to me… to my situation. A sweeping generalization or someone else’s situation doesn’t help me.
It is what it is.
This is the single worst expression/cliché/platitude on earth. It is true, obviously. It is also completely meaningless and annoying as fuck.
Things could be worse. / Imagine how much worse it could be.
Thank you for that genius observation — things could be worse. No shit. And now you want me to imagine how things could be worse? Because you want me to feel even more miserable? Seriously… what is the point of this? To feel good because worse is possible? Guess the fuck what? Better is also possible.
If you can dream it, you can do it.
Can I, though? No. I cannot. To ‘do’ my dream, I’m going to need financial assistance and a fucking TARDIS. Just because I dream something doesn’t mean I have the means to make it real. Some things are just beyond our control.
Good things come to those who wait.
Tick fucking tock.
See the good in every situation.
Fuck that. Sorry, but some things do not have a good side. They just don’t. Silver lining, my ass.
God has a plan.
And that plan is to fuck me over.
You have to love yourself before anyone else will love you.
So no one has ever loved me. Thanks so much for telling me that. I feel amazing now.
I could list more… and tell you why they’re incredibly stupid. But I’m pretty sure you get the picture. And I feel like I’m going to vomit.
… while I was painfully hopping around the internet to find the typical wording of some of this cliché bullshit, I came across something…
This is funny. It’s the closest I can get to motivational bullshit without injury or illness. Because it’s funny to me. And it speaks to the writer in me. It’s a metaphor. I can deal with that.