bitchfest | c – clichés #atozchallenge

#atozchallenge 2017 | bitchfest | what sandra thinks

[Disclaimer the first: I am unapologetically opinionated. This is me… full-bitch mode… blunt and honest… ranting about things I hate. Please don’t be offended by anything I may say… it’s not personal. Except to me.]
[Disclaimer the second: I’m sorry my posts are too long. For a-to-z, the recommendation is somewhere around 300 words per post. I’m way off. I will try to rein it in a bit in my future posts.]

• • •
c | clichés

This is going to be really, um, bitchy. You’ve been warned.

I HATE clichés. And those fucking ‘motivational’ sayings… fuck yeah, they motivate me! They motivate me to beat the fuck out of whoever says them to me.

I don’t care if there’s a spec of truth in those clichés. They are awful. Painful. Trite. Not at all helpful. In fact, they are the opposite. When I feel like ass, nothing makes me feel worse than having clichés thrown at me. If you want to truly drive me over the edge, the one I’m usually barely hanging on to, go ahead and hit me with a cliché. But be careful… I might hit back.

I get that people are trying to be helpful… to be positive… to be encouraging. But clichés don’t accomplish any of that. They make me feel worse. So much worse.

Some of you may be tempted to respond to this post explaining why some of these are true, why they make sense, why they are valid and helpful. Not to be a bitch, but… to be a bitch… I don’t want to hear it. Maybe this stuff helps some people. In fact, I’m sure it helps some people. But it doesn’t help me.

Maybe I’m selfish (maybe?!), but if someone’s going to offer me some wisdom or advice, it really does need to be specific to me… to my situation. A sweeping generalization or someone else’s situation doesn’t help me.
 wave

It is what it is.
This is the single worst expression/cliché/platitude on earth. It is true, obviously. It is also completely meaningless and annoying as fuck.

Things could be worse. / Imagine how much worse it could be.
Thank you for that genius observation — things could be worse. No shit. And now you want me to imagine how things could be worse? Because you want me to feel even more miserable? Seriously… what is the point of this? To feel good because worse is possible? Guess the fuck what? Better is also possible.

If you can dream it, you can do it.
Can I, though? No. I cannot. To ‘do’ my dream, I’m going to need financial assistance and a fucking TARDIS. Just because I dream something doesn’t mean I have the means to make it real. Some things are just beyond our control.

Good things come to those who wait.
Tick fucking tock.

See the good in every situation.
Fuck that. Sorry, but some things do not have a good side. They just don’t. Silver lining, my ass.

God has a plan.
And that plan is to fuck me over.

You have to love yourself before anyone else will love you.
So no one has ever loved me. Thanks so much for telling me that. I feel amazing now.

I could list more… and tell you why they’re incredibly stupid. But I’m pretty sure you get the picture. And I feel like I’m going to vomit.

BUT…

… while I was painfully hopping around the internet to find the typical wording of some of this cliché bullshit, I came across something…

plot twist

This is funny. It’s the closest I can get to motivational bullshit without injury or illness. Because it’s funny to me. And it speaks to the writer in me. It’s a metaphor. I can deal with that.

PLOT TWIST!

wave

what sandra thinks @ redbubble

#atozchallenge | bitchfest
© 2017 what sandra thinks
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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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81 Responses to bitchfest | c – clichés #atozchallenge

  1. The V Pub says:

    Can I add one? Take a deep breath. 😀 I’m with you. I can’t stand cliches like the ones you had mentioned. They’re a crutch for when people don’t have any advice at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Plot Twist! Love it! I’m gonna use that one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. magarisa says:

    ‘Plot twist’ – good one. Not cynical and not trite!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We used to say going to plan b when some other horrible thing happened, but I like plot twist better!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. tarnishedsoul says:

    I heard once that I thought was perfect, “Sometimes life just fucks you in the ass”.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. stephieann8 says:

    I’m sorry I know sometimes I can be a walking babbling idiot but I try to not sound cliche and talk about my experiences. I know for dam sure though that what works for some doesn’t work for all

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Michelle says:

    The one I hate the most is “It will
    happen when you least expect it.” No it won’t! Shut up! 😁 Fantastic post!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Marquessa says:

    I love plot twist! Best to stay away from my posts this month with all of my corny clichés! Lol! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • No no no! I will not stay away! 🙂 I am totally good with your stuff! The cliché things that bug me are the ones like those I mentioned… the ones where I am struggling with something and someone says, “it could be worse,” or “everything happens for a reason,” or other such unhelpful things! Damn, my romance writing can be really corny… but it’s romance… how can it not be? 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Mary B says:

    ‘It’s not as bad as it seems’… Yeah, right! Maybe in your world, but in mine.. it’s downright hell. Don’t bullshit me with those lies that are designed to make a person feel better. It NEVER works!

    Another great post!

    ~Mary
    Jingle Jangle Jungle
    #AtoZChallenge 1970’s Billboard Hits

    Liked by 1 person

  10. GAH! Same here! I have one friend who always uses cliches when I have a problem. Mostly the “God has a plan for you” one. Like I know he does, but can you offer some little bit of advice or comfort instead of thinking that those 6 words are ending our conversation?! I’ve stopped telling her what’s bothering me now, even if she asks me because I just can’t deal with the cliches she gives.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hmmm. I may never again be able to comment on your posts. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Meg Sorick says:

    PREACH!!! 😂😂😂 Oh how I hate these, too. Even if someone means well, just tell me you don’t know what to say instead of saying something trite. I also hate the ones about hard work and sacrifice because god dammit I work pretty fucking hard! Hello? Where’s my big payoff? 😠 I’m loving the bitchfest!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: experiment and regret. | what sandra thinks

  14. ZOMG Corporate America is, I’m convinced, one big honkin’ verbal platitude quilt, held together with spreadsheets and powerpoint presentations.

    “It is what it is” = It means you’re not taking any responsibility or action to do anything different. It’s resignation. AND I WILL CUT YOU FOR SAYING IT. grr

    Liked by 1 person

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