the worst feeling.

do you remember
the nights we spent in darkness
whispering words of desire
softly into the sky…
mumbling thoughts of love
until the sun
nearly stole the night…
do you remember?
I do
I remember
the touch of your fingers
over my skin
the heat of your breath
floating from your mouth
into mine
I remember
every moment
even as I lie alone
wondering where you are
what could have been
before you slipped away
I remember
the vision of you
hand in hand with another
every memory torn to pieces
in an instant of pure anguish
replaceable feels worse
than rejected


©2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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26 Responses to remember.

  1. VictoryInTrouble says:

    Oh wow, this is lovely but it hurts. No one wants to feel replaceable.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Damn. Never heard it put this way, but you’re right. I’ve only really had three “serious” relationships. One is with my wife, one was a girl I broke up with. The 3rd was one where I was “replaced”. It’s been nearly 30 years since that one, so I’m long since over it. But it sure hurt like a motherfucker when it happened. 😔

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Meg Sorick says:

    This is the worst. When someone leaves you for another. My second serious boyfriend dumped for another girl. I could still probably conjure up those feelings of hurt… You worry that you’ll never be enough for someone to love. You can only get over it if you can convince yourself its them and not you. Which is nearly impossible to do even if its true.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And then you see them together… and it’s like a knife in the heart again… every single time. Same thing (but not exactly the same) with friends… I had these two friends years back but they weren’t friends with each other… they met through me and before I knew it, I was out and they were constantly together. Yep… I was totally replaceable. Pretty much impossible to keep from thinking you’re nothing special when that happens. Like Beach was saying… I think it’s even worse with friends…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Meg Sorick says:

        Right, I think it’s worse with friends because you don’t have to be exclusive with a friend the way you would with a boyfriend, lover, etc. so there’s no real good reason to be shut out just because one friend makes friends with another.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Simon says:

    This is wonderful and terrible… Feeling replaceable is not good.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you and I’m sorry. 🙂 Thanks for the wonderful… and sorry for the terrible. While I would love to have a clone of myself so I could get some shit done… I don’t want to be replaced…


  5. I hesitated to say I liked it because it captures those awful feelings of being replaced. And I was insecure enough to feel like it was my fault! 😦 But, great job 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow! I remember feeling joy and shock while reading your post. Beautiful 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  7. magarisa says:

    I know that feeling…you’ve expressed it so well, Sandra.

    Liked by 1 person

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