song of the day. #20

song of the day | what sandra thinks
Maybe I’m wallowing. But I haven’t been completely miserable. But I do have too many things weighing on me right now. More than I’ve posted. (You’re welcome.) I’ve had moments of inexplicable breakdown… yet moments of genuine laughter. I know I’m broken. I’ve given up the idea of ‘fixing’. Instead, I’m trying to figure out how to live with myself… because it has become clear to me that there is no ‘fix’.

The balance isn’t there… or when it is… it’s fragile… it’s delicate. And it breaks.

And then there’s the matter of trust. How can anyone expect it to remain when it’s been betrayed? It doesn’t just regenerate when it’s been severed. Why would someone bother pretending to be a friend only to tell me half-truths? Why keep me in his/her life at all? Just to have someone to lie to? Just to have a human doormat?

I don’t know about you, but I want friends I can trust… and who trust me. If I wanted secrets and lies and dishonesty, I’d go into politics. [Shudder] So don’t pretend to care… or pretend to be sincere. Be honest… be true to me… or don’t bother with me at all.


So why’d you fill my sorrow
With the words you’ve borrowed
From the only place you’ve known?
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you?
Why’d you sing with me at all?

song of the day

song of the day
Obviously I am not the owner of any rights to this song, this video, or these lyrics… just everything else… which isn’t much… © 2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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27 Responses to song of the day. #20

  1. Sorry you are going through a rough time. I hope things get lighter soon ❤ I LOVE Damien Rice. He has so much emotion in his voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gigglingfattie says:

    yet another artist I have never heard of. thanks for the introduction!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Meg Sorick says:

    I have never heard of Damien Rice. I liked this song. He is soothing. Which you totally need sometimes. Sorry about the wallowing – I get that. Maybe being broken or fixed is just a perspective thing. Who’s to say what fixed or broken means… And you should be no one’s doormat. I hope there is a way to remove them from your life. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. wheredoesthisend says:

    Interestingly, if you are feeling like a doormat to someone and you are afraid of losing them… you never really had them in your life in a positive healthy way to begin with more than likely. I know you’ll do what’s best for you when you’re ready.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You make it all sound so logical. Of course, my stupid brain doesn’t translate it that way. I need a transplant. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • wheredoesthisend says:

        GOD I know… I hate when I make it sound “simple as 1-2-3” because I also know that is never the case… So I don’t mean to make it sound like all you have to do is follow these 10 easy steps to a great life. No such thing really. It was really meant to just give a little different spin on it. I think I use this approach often to make decisions I used to hate… but (and this is a BIG but), I’ve practiced it so long that it’s my default now. In any case, there are always situations that come up where I still struggle quite a bit…and then I resort to terrible decisions. So yeah… not always as effortless as it sounds.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Al Lane says:

    I saw Damien Rice in concert a few years back… my wife had got us second row seats as a birthday gift. One of the best live performances I’ve ever seen… I too am in a Damien Rice place at the moment. Here’s hoping for something lighter, happier coming soon for both of us ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Liars suck. Better to not have them then to have them there under false pretenses. Someone lying to you isn’t on you, it’s on them. They’re the asshat in this scenario, not you.
    That said, accepting it, which encourages it to happen more often, is on you. Don’t let them drag you in to the muck.

    Liked by 1 person

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