Hi. Welcome to the ‘whenever the fuck I feel like it’ perk.
number twenty-seven.
Yesterday I visited my husband at work. His human resources department brought in a nurse to give flu shots… and I went to get one. This is not exciting. Neither was standing around in his office lobby waiting for our turn.
I don’t see my husband’s coworkers often. Maybe once or twice a year. But some of them remember me anyway. They’re very nice but I suck at making small talk. Mostly, though, it was just John and I, standing around waiting.
Then I got my flu shot… and headed home. Of course I stopped on the way home for coffee. And it finally happened. Dunkin’ doesn’t have their super-delicious butter pecan coffee flavor anymore. Damn! Summer is really over now. I tried to get through it, but it was incredibly disappointing.
I swear… I’m getting to the good part.
I texted John with my terrible coffee news.
Me: Dunkin has no more butter pecan…
Him: Sorry. This might make you feel better though…
Me: What? You have a stash of butter pecan stuff?
Him: No
Him: After you left here, I got a phone call from Tom
[Tom is a coworker and friend – my husband has known him for 20-something years.]
Me: Yes? He has butter pecan??!?
Him: No
Him: He called me and said “Wow, your wife looks great!”
Me: Really?!
Him: He said he wanted to say hi but he didn’t want to seem creepy.
Me: Why would he seem creepy?
Him: I don’t know. Staring at your boobs? Maybe he was flustered.
Me: Yeah, right. So, how did you respond to this? I imagine you said “I guess…”
[Me waiting…]
Me: Or maybe you just hung up on him…
Him: I didn’t hang up. I agreed with him
Me: Must be the new bra. Men like boobs
Him: He likes curvy women.
Me: My curves are nice. Imagine if he knew I wanted to have sex constantly… then I’d probably look even better…
Later when John got home from work, he seemed a bit more interested in my lady parts than he’s been lately. Fucker. He doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have a hot wife until some other guy calls attention to it…
Sadly, this story doesn’t have a ‘happy ending’, so to speak… kids and being tired and other such things… maybe tomorrow. Or someday. Apparently I need to run into Tom more often. And start flirting with him.
what sandra thinks 
Damn. Dude, you should encourage him to guest post so any of us guys can ask WTF.
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Oh God, I’m guessing that would not go over well. Of course, he has never been to this blog. Pretty sure it would be a bad idea for him to do so. But thanks for the thought because it made me smile. 🙂
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I’d just be curious as to the why…or, more accurately, the why not. Not sure how old he is, but I’d look at something medical first. Low T or something that would affect libido.
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Actually we (he) did the med thing. Nothing wrong. I think it’s tired, stressed, and lazy. And I think he possibly has a bit of his own depression issue… which, of course, he doesn’t investigate… He does like to watch me and sometimes get a little grabby when I change clothes… And then our evening proceeds as usual …
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That fact would amp up the frustration, to me. I get the tired thing. It happens. But the connection between y’all should be priority. There’d be no kids, house, etc without the two of you. Gotta feed that.
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What fact? The grabby one? Yes I always tell him I wish he would follow through… And the stress, well, I always place most or all of the blame on myself for that… since so much of it stems from my unemployment…
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Yes, the grabby/looking/flirty thing, with no follow through. It’d be like a tease. I’d rather be ignored completely I think.
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I think I take what I can get. I can follow through on my own later… kids asleep and usually husband fallen asleep on couch or in his basement room playing guitar or something. Of course on my own is not the same… but it’s effective… and we all know I have a vivid imagination… ha!
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Well, the mind is the most powerful sex organ. I hate that you have to resort to that vs as a last resort. Hope it gets better for you. 😊
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To be honest, sometimes I prefer alone… Maybe because my imaginary partner is always some version of perfect…
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Haha! That’s true. And whatever scenario ya want. I see your point. 😊
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And, well… sometimes I write it… and share… 😀
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And we all thank you for that. 😃
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Haha… You’re welcome… though I do stay away from some names. It would be hard for me to get through a sex scene with a woman screaming “Thor…” Hahaha
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Oohooh! I smell a word-use poem!! Gotta be easier than banana hammock. 😃
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Hahaha… you mean Thor? I may have to try that… 😀
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Hahaha! Yes, Thor. I’ll keep my eye for it. 😃
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Was this the epitome of a Failure to Launch?
Oddly. men are competitive…they have this need, often times, to ‘beat’ someone else to the punch, so to speak.
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Well, I’m right here so my husband has a brain defect… ’cause he did not follow through with acting on it… the tool.
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You stole my answer. LOL Stuff looks more appealing when other people want it too.
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Well, at least John has a hot wife 😉
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Yeah, whoopee… Good for him. 😛 He should probably take advantage of that.
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Yes, he should!
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Yeah. Do you follow Michael from Cream of the Planet? He has a post titled Sperm Wars that talks about this competition and how it can lead to better sex. Which, hopefully it does for you, lol. Yay for being the hot wife! 😀
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I don’t know him… I will check him out. Also… better sex– I’d be willing to start with less huge gaps between any sex…!
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Oh my word, I thought the same thing about Michael. That is in an incredibly insightful post.
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Perky is the way boobs should live. Forever.
Sorry about the butter pecan…and the no nooky.
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But I agree….yay for being the hot wife!!!
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Thanks. At no time in my life have I ever thought of myself as “hot”…
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Well, the consensus says otherwise!
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I’m not sure I’d go so far as to use the word ‘consensus’… but thanks… Oh hell, other than my hair, only 2 people in the blogging world have ever even seen me!
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Well.. as I age, I require a bit more perk-assistance… But that seems to not be a problem at all… Oh, and I got some butter pecan at a different Dunks today! Maybe it’s not totally gone for the season yet…
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Yeah, well I’m older than you, so mine definitely need assistance, lol. That was wishful thinking! Although, even in their less perky state, M has become interested in getting them pierced….so that may be happening. Yay for the butter pecan!
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Ouch! I could never do it. I have multiple ear piercings and a tattoo… but I couldn’t handle that!
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Hehe funny story. At least maybe it gives you confidence. Something like this would give me just a little bounce in my step and yes I would hope that your husband is more interested in your lady bits lol. Maybe, you will have to remind him about Tom tomorrow, when kids are in bed 🙂
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It did make me feel good… and I definitely will be reminding him!
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Haha you know I used to thrive off that attention. I seem to have calmed down a bit.
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It’s just not something that happens often. Even if a million people thought I looked great… chances are, they’re not going to tell me. So when I heard it… well, that felt pretty damn good!
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Ah, late to this conversation… Figures, time zones all jacked up. Anyway, sounds like John might have had a little wake up call? Even though he’s tired/lazy/stressed? Might have planted a seed in his mind. I can’t believe he gets grabby and doesn’t follow through! That sucks!
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(Hey, your comment went to spam! Sorry, I just found it…)
I guess his lack of follow-through sucks but honestly, I really am glad for any attention… maybe that’s sad, too. But this whole Tom thing made me feel good. (Though today went to hell… but damn, of course it did… this is my stupid life after all…)
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Aw, man …
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Ow ow! Get ’em, girl!
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Haha
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Smiles… There is always Saturday morning …
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Oh yes… mornings are wonderful…
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One piece of advice I would give to any younger couple buying a home is to make sure your master bedroom is away from the kids bedrooms and to have your own private bathroom
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And a lock…
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Indeed. And a nice armoire with a selection of toys in it
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Yes, instead of hiding them behind my bras.
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What a nice pick-me-up and morale booster for you. Follow through would be good as well though … maybe you should drop into his work more often!
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Haha! Hmm….
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I too… love butter pecan Dunkin’ I was able to swindle some out of one near my house just the other day. Sometimes, Satan takes a holiday.
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Ahh… I am so jealous! I miss it… so cruel that they take it away… although I suppose I’m saving a little cash…
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