the perk. #27

Hi. Welcome to the ‘whenever the fuck I feel like it’ perk. 

the perk.

number twenty-seven.

Yesterday I visited my husband at work. His human resources department brought in a nurse to give flu shots… and I went to get one. This is not exciting. Neither was standing around in his office lobby waiting for our turn.

I don’t see my husband’s coworkers often. Maybe once or twice a year. But some of them remember me anyway. They’re very nice but I suck at making small talk. Mostly, though, it was just John and I, standing around waiting.

Then I got my flu shot… and headed home. Of course I stopped on the way home for coffee. And it finally happened. Dunkin’ doesn’t have their super-delicious butter pecan coffee flavor anymore. Damn! Summer is really over now. I tried to get through it, but it was incredibly disappointing.

I swear… I’m getting to the good part.

I texted John with my terrible coffee news.

Me: Dunkin has no more butter pecan…

Him: Sorry. This might make you feel better though…

Me: What? You have a stash of butter pecan stuff?

Him: No

Him: After you left here, I got a phone call from Tom

[Tom is a coworker and friend – my husband has known him for 20-something years.]

Me: Yes? He has butter pecan??!?

Him: No

Him: He called me and said “Wow, your wife looks great!”

Me: Really?!

Him: He said he wanted to say hi but he didn’t want to seem creepy.

Me: Why would he seem creepy?

Him: I don’t know. Staring at your boobs? Maybe he was flustered.

Me: Yeah, right. So, how did you respond to this? I imagine you said “I guess…”

[Me waiting…]

 Me: Or maybe you just hung up on him…

Him: I didn’t hang up. I agreed with him

Me: Must be the new bra. Men like boobs

Him: He likes curvy women.

Me: My curves are nice. Imagine if he knew I wanted to have sex constantly… then I’d probably look even better…

Later when John got home from work, he seemed a bit more interested in my lady parts than he’s been lately. Fucker. He doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have a hot wife until some other guy calls attention to it…

Sadly, this story doesn’t have a ‘happy ending’, so to speak… kids and being tired and other such things… maybe tomorrow. Or someday. Apparently I need to run into Tom more often. And start flirting with him.



☼ Perky is not just a mood, it’s a way of life. That I hate.

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy, too. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in humor, the perk, weekly perk, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

53 Responses to the perk. #27

  1. Damn. Dude, you should encourage him to guest post so any of us guys can ask WTF.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. tarnishedsoul says:

    Was this the epitome of a Failure to Launch?

    Oddly. men are competitive…they have this need, often times, to ‘beat’ someone else to the punch, so to speak.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Well, at least John has a hot wife 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. VictoryInTrouble says:

    Yeah. Do you follow Michael from Cream of the Planet? He has a post titled Sperm Wars that talks about this competition and how it can lead to better sex. Which, hopefully it does for you, lol. Yay for being the hot wife! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Kay says:

    Perky is the way boobs should live. Forever.

    Sorry about the butter pecan…and the no nooky.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mandibelle16 says:

    Hehe funny story. At least maybe it gives you confidence. Something like this would give me just a little bounce in my step and yes I would hope that your husband is more interested in your lady bits lol. Maybe, you will have to remind him about Tom tomorrow, when kids are in bed 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. stephieann8 says:

    Haha you know I used to thrive off that attention. I seem to have calmed down a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Meg Sorick says:

    Ah, late to this conversation… Figures, time zones all jacked up. Anyway, sounds like John might have had a little wake up call? Even though he’s tired/lazy/stressed? Might have planted a seed in his mind. I can’t believe he gets grabby and doesn’t follow through! That sucks!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mr Modigliani says:

    Smiles… There is always Saturday morning …

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Miriam says:

    What a nice pick-me-up and morale booster for you. Follow through would be good as well though … maybe you should drop into his work more often!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. wheredoesthisend says:

    I too… love butter pecan Dunkin’ I was able to swindle some out of one near my house just the other day. Sometimes, Satan takes a holiday.

    Liked by 1 person

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