weekly perk. #15

weekly perk.
Ladies, never underestimate the power of the right bra.

[Gents, never underestimate the power of… a woman in the right bra…]

This may be the most appropriate weekly perk ever…

The Mission.

I had been avoiding the unavoidable shopping escapade of bra-hunting for a while. But really, it had to happen. And of course it wasn’t as simple (nothing ever is) as grabbing a few new ones just like the old… because the God-forsaken company doesn’t make them anymore.

But change is good, right? That’s what they say. Hey, I really needed a smaller size anyway. (Not a smaller cup size… calm down boys. Heh.)

bras needed.

Off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of bras.

With hopeful anticipation, I squeezed through racks of boulder-holders so padded and firm you could eat a fucking bowl of cereal out of them. Two bowls, actually. After amassing several different styles in varying degrees of, um, stiffness, I headed for the dressing room. I’m pretty sure the cups bounced off at least four different shoppers on the way. I lost count after… well… one.

Ah, the dressing rooms. Maybe they should have four instead of six. That way, perhaps each could be larger than a port-a-potty. And really, how well can one see her reflection when forced to stand so close to the mirror? Oh, and the tags… three, four, five pokey cardboard things hanging off the cereal bowls. This process is already a pain in the ass. I don’t need to be stabbed, too.

Success! Sort of. Couldn’t buy too many because I hadn’t visited the bank prior to my trip to arrange financing. But… I chose a few. Off to make my purchase… and to meet the young man behind the counter. Seriously, why would the store put this poor boy in the women’s lingerie department? He looked so uncomfortable. But I have no shame, so my teasing commenced.

I bet you love when they send you to this department, huh?

He saw my teasing and raised me some sarcasm. “Oh yeah, it’s my favorite. Not awkward at all.


Now for the ultimate test.

The next day, I let my girls fill up one of my sexy new acquisitions. A black one. Okay… they’re all black. (I suppose someday I may need a non-black bra, but I have no idea when that could possibly happen.) I looked in the mirror. Had to make sure I loved it before ripping off those damn stabby tags.

And ohhh… I loved it. My boobs looked fantastic. I left the bedroom for the bathroom where I could get a better look. (It’s okay, the kids weren’t home. Not yet #scarredforlife) And I looked… hot. I could have fearlessly jumped into the ocean to cool off since I was pretty much wearing a floatation device.

All confident and shit, I went to do exciting errands. But… I felt like the fucking queen of Target as I walked those aisles. On my way home, I didn’t even use the drive-thru for my coffee. I went in. Yeah, that’s right, coffee boy. Those are my boobs.

Later that day, Mr. Oblivious arrived home. Honestly, I didn’t have high hopes. Hell, I was wearing a shirt. It wasn’t like my earlier full inspection sans shirt. My back was to him when he walked into the kitchen mumbling something about some ass at work. Then I turned around and he went silent.

Maybe it was worth the ridiculous price tag.

☼ Perky. It melts in your mouth not in your hand.

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in humor, the perk, weekly perk, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to weekly perk. #15

  1. David says:

    Funny. I enjoyed reading about this little adventure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gigglingfattie says:

    I love buying new bras! Although I don’t really try them on. I did a post about a new style I am in love with. Can’t wait to get to Canada for my holidays to pick up a few more of them! They make my boobs look AH-MAZING.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Isn’t that the best? I’ve ordered bras online but inevitably I end up with at least a couple that I have to return. Easier now, though, that I know which ones I love!

      Liked by 1 person

      • gigglingfattie says:

        I shop at La Senza all the time – once I find a style that I love, I just have to go in and pick whatever colours I want and it’s so easy. But bras are SOO expensive 😦 I wish they were less money for good ones haha

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Wait…. you WENT INSIDE to buy coffee? Wow. What brand is this? Really, though… certain bras really do make a huge difference. I have a few that I feel make my boobs look great. My husband almost *always* notices when I have one of them on. If bras weren’t so damn expensive I’d toss them all and replace them with the good ones!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! Oh, I walked into Dunkin Donuts. Not exactly The Ritz of coffee places, but that sweet delicious butter pecan….yum! I spent way too much on this little bra adventure. But I don’t feel too guilty… I probably won’t do this again for a few years! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Plectrumm says:

    “85% of women wear bra’s that don’t actually fit right”


    Liked by 1 person

  5. stephieann8 says:

    Oh how I hate bras and wish I didn’t need them! So hard to find the right ones that support my ampleness

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Captain Q says:

    Obviously one of my favorite topics! I love it! Very funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loved this! 🙂 Yes,the right ones are really hard to find…By the way, I have to go shopping too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have a ton of bras in various colors, but I always end up wearing the nude or black ones. Clearly I need to up my bra game so that I too can feel like “queen of Target.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. wwwpalfitness says:

    Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.


  10. Great story. Shopping for bras is like finding a new hairdresser. One of these days I’m going to get fitted at one of those lingerie stores instead of trying to figure out what size I need on my own! The stuff we women go through…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is great! You really can’t underestimate the power of a fabulous bra! And a great rack! 😃 Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I don’t have many dark-colored bras….Too many of my shirts are see-through enough that I need beige/white/light pink. I hate having to plan my wardrobe around my underthings.

    Liked by 1 person

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