10 signs you may be failing at life.
1) You put the milk in your bowl before the cereal.
2) You don’t drink the milk after you’ve eaten the cereal.
3) You spread peanut butter then jelly on the same slice of bread, then put another slice of bread on top. [The fuck? PB goes on one slice, jelly on the other, and then they’re sandwiched together… aka: the right way.]
4) You don’t like peanut butter. [You are excused if you are allergic.]
5) You drink decaf.
6) You listen to country music on purpose and enjoy it. [Don’t even tell me if you do this. I’m not sure I’ll get past it.]
7) You have a blog with so fucking many ads and pop-ups that it’s not even worth visiting. [*cough* most food bloggers *cough* note: go to the link… I promise it’s funny.]
8) Your ass shows when you wear shorts.
9) You’re go-to response when someone is having a shit day is ‘it could be worse‘. FY-fucking-I, it could also be better. Say that instead. The first one translates to ‘I don’t give a shit about your problems‘, while the second one gives hope. Which one do you think is helpful? [Hint: Not the first one.]
10) You don’t think this man is the sexiest thing ever. [If you swing that way, of course. I personally fucking run that way. Like, to him.]
I love you, Mr. Sexy Arms [face, beard, eyes, ass] Beach Guy.
Truly, it is okay if you commit any of the aforementioned atrocities [except the country music one]. I’ll try not to lose faith in humanity. Oh, wait, I don’t have any. Well shit.
p.s. — While I am not guilty of any of these particular sins, I’m still failing at life, so don’t feel bad if you saw yourself in any of them. I still love you. But the country music one… seriously, I don’t want to know.
p.p.s. — If you would like to know more about failing at life, just ask. I’m an expert.
Your food blog link made me laugh. Thanks. Feet Soup?..Hard Pass
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Hahaha. The funny thing is… it didn’t taste bad. It was just the smell!
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Oooo YAS I am not failing at life!!
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Haha. I’m happy to hear it!
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Hehe me too!!!
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What a bod! 😜
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He is just perfect… 🙂
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I’m sure I’ve seen that guy in 10 before. Now, where could it have been?
Would it be OK to admit that I have NEVER EVER had a peanut butter and jam sandwich?
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Is there a medical reason? For the sandwich, not the man. He is medically necessary. I suppose the sandwich is not.
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I managed to survive this long without trying one and I have no desire to try now!
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I guess if I’d never had one I wouldn’t miss it…
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I might be Failing, LOL, Great post 😀
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I know I am. Just not for these reasons…!
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Lol. I’m not sure if I am failing life but my eyes are not failing at that photo…😂
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Today I thought… Hey, I should print that out and keep him by my bed. Then I thought… Why the hell haven’t I thought of that until now?
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Lol.😂
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Yes the German model 👏🥰
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I think you mean… “my boyfriend”. 😁
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Wellll its good to know I’m not failing at life.. the me who just posted her latest will be happy to hear this!
Although I don’t like peanut butter.
Your linked post 😂💯
That man 😍😏
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I don’t know if I’ve ever known anyone who doesn’t like peanut butter! So what do you put on your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches??? 😀
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Oh wow..I think I am honoured?? xD
I don’t really like sweet sandwiches, I’m more of a spinach corn or a chilli cheese toast person. But when I do want a sweet one, I either just use Orange marmalade or Nutella!
(Also I am so so sorry for this late reply– I don’t think I ever got/noticed the ping)
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Don’t worry about it! I haven’t been around much anyway!
And I love Nutella. 🙂
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Yeahh it’s hard wanting to write but unable to do so..
Yaay! I don’t get how people can’t like Nutella!
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I have never understood people who put milk on their cereal and don’t drink it either while they’re eating the cereal or after. What a waste! Also, my dad hates peanut butter but he’s a great guy otherwise so I forgive him.
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I suppose some things can be forgiven. 🙂
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Great tasting decaf coffee really does exist. It’s just not available in stores and restaurants. I get dam good decaf from an online hidden gem called Coffee A M. Best decaf French roast delivered to my house from Canton Georgia ever!
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I’m glad it exists! I don’t want it, but I’m glad it’s out there. 🙂
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This is hilarious. Totally agree with you on the sandwich. And the cereal. Damn quirks. 🙂
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The cereal one of the craziest, I think. Milk first?? What kind of nutjob does that??
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Someone not right in the head…
The cereal needs to touch the bowl first and then rise with the milk.
Who doesn’t get this? Lol!!
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How else would you know if you have the right amount of milk? 🙂
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My thought exactly. 🙂
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My Sexy Arms…. oooh, I like him. 😁👌
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All my dreams come to life… that’s what he is.
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this post makes me feel more successful than I’ve been all week. (I just emerged from the kitchen where I burned quinoa. No Febreeze in the world is killing that smell. i may have to move.)
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I burned something in the microwave a few weeks ago and no lie– I bought a new microwave!
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Sometimes that is the ONLY way….
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