10 signs you may be failing at life.

10 signs you may be failing at life.

1) You put the milk in your bowl before the cereal.

2) You don’t drink the milk after you’ve eaten the cereal.

3) You spread peanut butter then jelly on the same slice of bread, then put another slice of bread on top. [The fuck? PB goes on one slice, jelly on the other, and then they’re sandwiched together… aka: the right way.]

4) You don’t like peanut butter. [You are excused if you are allergic.]

5) You drink decaf.

6) You listen to country music on purpose and enjoy it. [Don’t even tell me if you do this. I’m not sure I’ll get past it.]

7) You have a blog with so fucking many ads and pop-ups that it’s not even worth visiting. [*cough* most food bloggers *cough* note: go to the link… I promise it’s funny.]

8) Your ass shows when you wear shorts.

9) You’re go-to response when someone is having a shit day is ‘it could be worse‘. FY-fucking-I, it could also be better. Say that instead. The first one translates to ‘I don’t give a shit about your problems‘, while the second one gives hope. Which one do you think is helpful? [Hint: Not the first one.]

10) You don’t think this man is the sexiest thing ever. [If you swing that way, of course. I personally fucking run that way. Like, to him.]

I love you, Mr. Sexy Arms [face, beard, eyes, ass] Beach Guy.

Truly, it is okay if you commit any of the aforementioned atrocities [except the country music one]. I’ll try not to lose faith in humanity. Oh, wait, I don’t have any. Well shit.

p.s. — While I am not guilty of any of these particular sins, I’m still failing at life, so don’t feel bad if you saw yourself in any of them. I still love you. But the country music one… seriously, I don’t want to know.

p.p.s. — If you would like to know more about failing at life, just ask. I’m an expert.

©2021 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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37 Responses to 10 signs you may be failing at life.

  1. Your food blog link made me laugh. Thanks. Feet Soup?..Hard Pass

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gigglingfattie says:

    Oooo YAS I am not failing at life!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Miriam says:

    What a bod! 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sure I’ve seen that guy in 10 before. Now, where could it have been?
    Would it be OK to admit that I have NEVER EVER had a peanut butter and jam sandwich?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I might be Failing, LOL, Great post 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. M says:

    Lol. I’m not sure if I am failing life but my eyes are not failing at that photo…😂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yes the German model 👏🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wellll its good to know I’m not failing at life.. the me who just posted her latest will be happy to hear this!
    Although I don’t like peanut butter.
    Your linked post 😂💯
    That man 😍😏

    Liked by 1 person

  9. mydangblog says:

    I have never understood people who put milk on their cereal and don’t drink it either while they’re eating the cereal or after. What a waste! Also, my dad hates peanut butter but he’s a great guy otherwise so I forgive him.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Bia Bella Baker💗Proud author of: HECCTROSSIPY book 1 The Legend of the Land says:

    Great tasting decaf coffee really does exist. It’s just not available in stores and restaurants. I get dam good decaf from an online hidden gem called Coffee A M. Best decaf French roast delivered to my house from Canton Georgia ever!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Terveen Gill says:

    This is hilarious. Totally agree with you on the sandwich. And the cereal. Damn quirks. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. My Sexy Arms…. oooh, I like him. 😁👌

    Liked by 1 person

  13. this post makes me feel more successful than I’ve been all week. (I just emerged from the kitchen where I burned quinoa. No Febreeze in the world is killing that smell. i may have to move.)

    Liked by 1 person

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