And that year is over. ‘Yay‘ I guess? But contrary to what many seem to think, the clock striking midnight on January 1st didn’t suddenly send us to the comfort of the before times.
I thought I’d try finding some good from the past year. I was going to write a list, by month, of good things from 2020. But then I realized that was ludicrous. In typical Sandra-fashion, every time I came up with something ‘good‘, my brain immediately said… ‘but‘. I guess it’s just my way. Might as well accept it.
January – 2020 is gonna be my year!
But… It was not my year. It hasn’t been my year since about 19##. Wait, if I fill in those digits, I’ll give away my real age. So yeah, 2020 was not my year. It was probably nobody’s year.
February – I got a new oven. I won’t go into detail as to why this was huge and life-changing. Just trust me.
But… I started baking like a maniac and probably gained ten pounds.
March – The kids are home with me all the time now.
But… The kids are home with me all the time now.
April – I had fun doing math I forgot I knew how to do. I even got on calls with a couple of my daughter’s friends in different grades to help them with their math. Math is my thing. One of my things. There’s also the coffee thing and the design thing and the whole darkness thing.
But… We had to have Easter at my house for the first time ever instead of at Mom’s with my sisters. It was sad and disappointing.
May – I noticed my finances improving because I stopped spending money since I barely leave the house.
But… I barely leave the house.
June – I had a birthday.
But… I have aged. Like, I’ve aged about a year per month since March.
July – I managed to sneak in two trips to visit Mom during lighter virus restrictions.
But… Who the fuck knows when I’ll be able to visit her again?
August – I read a bazillion books.
But… I didn’t do much else. And hearing about all the shit people are accomplishing during quarantine really gets on my nerves. Stop rubbing it in. Yeah, you’re super productive. Goody for you. Now shut the fuck up.
My final total was actually 159.
September – Back to school. Yay!
But… School is remote. And so… the kids are home with me all the time.
October – Why can’t I remember what happened in October? Was I in an isolation-induced haze? Maybe I was on a Halloween-candy-induced high?
But… Halloween was basically cancelled.
November – Biden won! Woo fucking hoo!
But… We couldn’t have our traditional yearly party at Mom’s for my kid’s birthday. And Thanksgiving was sad. No big family dinner. It just wasn’t the same.
December – Christmas at our home with just the four of us was better than I expected. I told my kids and husband that I was worried I would be inconsolable having to spend the holiday without my mom and sisters for the first time in my life. I told them they needed to stick a sunshine stick up their asses and make it a good Christmas—no kids arguing, no husband being Cranky McCrankypants. Yes, I used those exact words. And it worked! We even had game night on Christmas Eve! Haven’t been able to get the whole family to do that for years. We had fun. Plus Christmas cookies!
But… By some time on December 26th, it seemed that my family removed their sunshine sticks. And the cookies are gone.
I have not been in my house alone since March 12th. That’s nearly ten months, people! Ten fucking long months. When I have a virtual appointment with my MH NP, I sit in the car so I have privacy. Not kidding. I do that.
Explicit detail follows…
My vibrator isn’t quiet enough and my house isn’t big enough so we kind of broke up. It’s heartbreaking. We were so close. I miss him. I’m thinking of getting a newer model that’s quieter, but I’ll still be afraid to get caught and have to come up with some lame-ass explanation.
Kind of a big deal…
One of my sisters works for Pfizer. So that’s pretty cool what with the vaccine and all.
Words and phrases overused in 2020 that I hope to never hear again…
Mindful/mindfulness. New normal. The ‘rona. (Oh my god, fucking shoot me.) Sounds like a you problem. Zoom. Quarantine Pod. Spill the tea. Social distancing. (It’s *physical* distancing, people. We need to keep a physical distance, not a social one. Well, unless you’re me. I need social distance, too. But I sure as fuck don’t call it that.) Literally (used incorrectly). Extra (used like a tween). Remote learning. Mask. (And yes, I wear a mask when I’m supposed to. I just hate it.)
As for 2021…
Well, my egg yolk broke this morning when I was making breakfast so that ruined my day. This is not a good start.
Ugh. Is that how 2021 is gonna be?
p.s. — I love how it took me until January 5th… five days… to finish writing this post. And I’d love to tell you it’s because my life is so full of fascinating and wonderful things, so I’m just going to go with that.