I didn’t realize until just now that I missed posting Moody Monday last week. I don’t even remember why. Oh wait, yes I do. I was a mess last week. I think I know why and hopefully I’m better now. But I’m not sure.
I hate being alone. I used to love it. But now, I only like being alone when I’m not alone. What I mean is… I like being alone and doing my own thing sometimes when other people are home. But being home alone… it doesn’t go well for me anymore. The irony is… I used to search for time alone when I didn’t have any. Now I have too much. And I get bored. And when I’m bored, I think too much and make myself upset.
I’m not bored because I have nothing to do. I have plenty. There’s always some part of the house I could reorganize/straighten up. I could work on more designs for one or more of my shops. I could print some of the designs I’ve already done and photograph them for my Etsy shop. I could write something. And about fifty other things.
But I’m completely uninspired to do any of it. I have no drive. I don’t know where to get motivation. I can’t shake the feeling that everything I do is pointless. I had trouble even getting myself to eat. This morning, I took a nap. Yeah… in the morning… after I’d been awake for about 3 hours. Granted, I’m not feeling well… I have a bad cold…
I wonder if thinking about my mood on Mondays makes me too aware of it and therefore makes me feel worse. I guess that’s possible…
Final assessment: A little down… a little tired… and a lot of nothingness.
©2017 what sandra thinks