And I may change it again. I don’t know. But…
As of now… I don’t think I’m going to fully stock my Etsy shop or make any sort of official ‘announcement‘ here. Not now… maybe not ever? Undecided. I don’t know if anyone has been waiting to hear about it… or if everyone forgot about it. In any case, it’s open with a few items for sale, but I’m not going to go any further with it right now. In fact, I might close it (before it ever really ‘opens’). I’m not sure.
[The RedBubble shop… what sandra makes… is still up… and will remain open. With the RedBubble shop, unlike Etsy, I am a mere designer. Etsy has overhead and more work involved. Granted the profit is significantly lower on RedBubble… but it’s far less stressful… far less pressure. That’s huge for me.]
For now… the Etsy shop sits there. Finally named… ten cards available… no one finding them anyway. Do I even share a link here? I don’t know. It all scares me. Whatever confidence and motivation I had when I set it up is gone.
I know it’s ridiculous not to go full-steam ahead with Etsy after I agonized over a name for so long… but I don’t think I can do this right now. It’s too bad, really, since the holidays are coming. It should be the perfect time for me to ‘launch‘. But I just don’t think I can. I don’t want to get myself in over my head. Hell, I still feel like a fraud anyway.
Who even buys cards anymore anyway? Probably not very many people. And there are already so many card shops on Etsy… no one would ever find me, never mind buy from me. Right? Seriously… who would care about my stuff?
Maybe I’ll change my mind tomorrow… or in a week… or some other time… and I’ll move forward with this. But right now? As pathetic as it may be, I think it’s too much for me.
Everything feels like too much for me right now. I’m on autopilot with the necessities… cleaning, cooking, getting the kids where they need to be and back. But beyond that, I’m useless.
I’m not sure what happened over the last week. I just know that I am having a lot of trouble with everything… big things, little things… everything. I cry so easily… and then I can’t stop. I don’t think I should be around people because it pains me to see happiness when I can’t have any. Maybe it’s wrong to say that… or feel that… but it’s the truth. I am in a tremendous amount of pain and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I guess ‘shut down‘ is what I’m going with.
Unless (Until?) I change my mind again…
©2017 what sandra thinks