I know I’ve mentioned this a million times lately, but I’m still stuck on it…
I can’t come up with anything good to post.
I will not hold it against you in any way if you stop reading now. Hell, that’d probably be for the best. This might be a “publish and then have second thoughts and delete” post anyway…
I have an answer: I should just stop. I should just write nothing until I have something worthwhile to say (if I ever do again… feels unlikely)… whether it be fiction or poetry or anything else. Or the answer is the opposite: I should write anyway even if everything I write is total crap.
Neither one is working for me.
Can’t bring myself to stop trying… I don’t want to disappear. I think because I’ve been feeling incredibly lonely and I don’t have friends offline. I know… pathetic.
But… when I keep writing, which is what I have been doing, I can’t come up with anything decent.
A few working titles for posts I’ve started but not finished nor posted recently:
1. Why I’m not cut out to be a parent
2. When cookie dough is an acceptable breakfast
3. When to give up (perhaps the answer is after you’ve done the cookie dough breakfast)
4. Told you so (when my good mood vanished so soon after I mentioned it)
5. How to live without friends
6. Why my online shops are pointless
7. Mistakes I’ve made
8. Why I need a full time job but can’t have one (God DAMN I am SO sick of thinking/talking/writing about this)
And then there’s this post. The one you’re reading now… which I could still potentially reject. So all this typing may be for nothing.
I know I need to relax… give myself a break… stop stressing over it. I don’t think I know how to do that. Relaxation has always been hard for me. Even if I’m just sitting there, I rarely feel relaxed.
I’ve had this writing issue for weeks. Maybe that’s not unusual… but it’s unusual for me. I suspect it’s not really a writing issue which is why ‘just writing‘ isn’t helping. I suspect it’s something more that’s causing the writing issue. Especially because it’s causing a total creative block… or an entire life block. I’m uninspired to write… to design… to photograph… to do anything. I hate this feeling. Even when I’m having a decent day, I have this feeling… it’s just a little quieter.
Today, it’s loud.
©2017 what sandra thinks