my mind is blank.

…and this is a pointless post… because… see title of post.

lonely writer.

Posting is a huge struggle. I hate this empty feeling… like I have nothing to talk about… nothing to write about.

Except writing about not being able to write.

I know, huge contradiction.

Sometimes I can crank out some terrible poetry but that’s it. I understand that I’m having a fiction slump. But I feel like I’m having an everything slump.

Slump. What a weird word. I don’t think I like it.

Is my blog dying? Is my mind going? (The answers? I don’t know and probably.)

I don’t think this is all about writing. I mean, of course it’s not. It’s me. It’s something in my head eating away at my inspiration… my creativity. And whatever that something is, I can’t seem to kick it.

Maybe I shouldn’t have opened this can of worms because now I’ve lost the lid and everything is a slimy mess.

Yeah, I know… I can post whatever I want. And sure, I always intended to use this blog (in part) as a place to vent… to unload. That people read and give me a shoulder to cry on is a huge bonus. (I said huge bonus not huge bon… never mind.) I have a place to turn when I need to say things I can’t say to people I’m going to see sitting across from me at Thanksgiving dinner.

But I think it’s gotten out of control. (See above… worms.) I’m going in circles here just as I do in my head. I hate to use the word ‘do’ it because it doesn’t feel like I’m actively ‘doing’ it. It feels like it just is.

What I’m trying to say is… um… fuck if I can figure it out! I think… something’s not right. Okay, yeah… No shit. I think my life is boring and lonely.

And yeah, I know… I keep saying the same things in different ways. Queen Paraphrase.

I’m going to try to collect the slimy worms now and get them back into the can. And try not to open it again. No one wants to see that…


©2017 what sandra thinks

Advertisements

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves music, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

87 Responses to my mind is blank.

  1. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. The tone of this one worries me a bit. I so wish I could help in some way, any way.

    By the way, you’re poetry is certainly NOT crap. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For some reason, I have that children’s story in my head – “How to Eat Fried Worms”…go figure.

    Anyways, I can relate to this…it’s part of the reason I deleted my last blog. I kind of felt like it had run its course…like how many different ways can I talk about how bisexual I am? I began to think it was stupid, because if I were REALLY okay with myself, I wouldn’t need to talk about it so much, so that led me to think maybe I wasn’t really okay with myself, which led me to believe that really everything I wrote was moot and meaningless, which led me to hate myself, which led me to…

    …what I’m getting at is, that your “pointless” blog actually makes an interesting “point”.

    And I’ve sort of been dealing with the same lately…you ought to see how many posts I have started and in my “queue” to be posted, but I haven’t posted them because I don’t really know what I’m trying to say….
    …kinda like now…sigh.

    I’m sorry, if I took the attention off your post.
    I just get you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The V Pub says:

    Some really intense physical workout usually helps. Some of them are really pleasant! I bet that would break writer’s block. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey you two, get a room.
    So, you don’t like the word slump. Well, I always try anagrams If I don’t like a word. Lumps, no plums. I bet you like plums.
    No, let’s not go there!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Meg says:

    Oh my word! The comments! Anyway… sometimes writing crap gets you over the hump. Sometimes taking a day off to catch a breath works, too. And if it helps, I’ve been in a huge fiction slump myself. I just finally, finally finished a short story after not writing anything new since early summer. And I was so unsure of myself I sent it to a friend for preview before posting. It happens. It will pass. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. stephieann8 says:

    I am so sorry you’re going through a tough stretch. Know you’re not alone. I think I cried all of Thursday.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. For now, perhaps we can blame the planets for screwing with its mentally and emotionally. Reading your post, I feel like I am staring at my own words. I’m sorry to hear that you are also going through such an experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I totally agree! every time i open my laptop to write my mind goes blank. it is such a depressing feeling. Hopefully your empty feeling will be filled with…i don’t know…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Slumps suck, but you’ll come out of it. You just have to wait it out. Or get a dick. 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Might I suggest paint chip poetry? lol I know it sounds super lame but I’ve done all 10 of my cards already. I did 4 over a few days and then yesterday I did the rest and have all the photos ready to start planning blog posts. It’s kind of fun and frustrating and might be a nice little change to boost your writing?

    I hope your blog isn’t dying! I would miss you too much Sandra!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. pluviolover says:

    I can relate to this — cuz, me too.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. What a relatable post! I get this feeling heaps (writers block is the absolute worst). Have you ever tried writing/blog writing prompts?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Me, too! Not only the no ideas, I just don’t feel the craving to write, which I usually do. Frankly, it scares me! I’m thinking I might just write one of my short fiction pieces and invite people to write another installment (hint, hint!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha… you know, I’ve had people ask me to collaborate before but it has never actually worked out…

      I still feel like I want to write… but I just can’t do it. It’s messed up. I feel like my life is too boring and empty for me to have any inspiration.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Halycon Prana says:

    Nah your never boring. Having been an avid reader for some time, you are inspiring me to write more. Though I’m like you, I doubt myself quite a lot. Regardless I think sharing is both good for ourselves and the readers of our words. I guess that’s the cool thing about writing, sometime its creative, inspiring, educational, stimulating 😉 and other times its a simple process of unclogging our minds. As long as it has some purpose it’s all good.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much. I do know I have too much “bad” stuff in my head. Maybe that’s making me a little too sad to write. And I don’t want to keep writing about being sad… it might be making the sadness worse…

      Like

  15. Marquessa says:

    Sorry but I had a good laugh at the discourse between you and V!😊 I too have a number of posts in the queue and am feeling hemmed in by my posts. As a breather, I’m taking down old posts and thinking about a new diretion. Slumps aren’t great in writing (or anything else for that matter) but rolling with it seems to be the only option, no?

    Liked by 1 person

  16. First off, your poetry is not crap..
    Secondly, everyone faces this, its alright..its just a phase.. hang in there.. it will be over soon!!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. You’ll pull out of this slump in due time. Even your posts about not writing still gets our attention. That says a lot. Why not ask for suggestions/tooics your followers would like to see you write about? Kinda like the piano man taking song requests 😀

    Liked by 1 person

thoughts? talk to me.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s