bitchfest | x – x-rays at the dentist #atozchallenge

#atozchallenge 2017 | bitchfest | what sandra thinks

[Disclaimer: This is going to be a silly post. Really reaching for an x. None of this even bothers me… I just needed something (possibly funny) to complain about… and I had a dentist appointment last week. Feel free to skip this post. I’m almost too embarrassed to post it… but I haven’t missed any a-to-z posts… and I don’t want to!]

• • •

x | x-rays at the dentist

It’s 2017. There has to be a better way.

I don’t mind going to the dentist because mine is kind of hot. And no, I did not choose him based on that. I used to see someone else who left and hot-dentist took over.

My favorite thing about a trip to the dentist is when, as I follow the dental hygienist into the maze of exam rooms, she informs me that I’m due for some new films. We walk into the x-ray room where she asks me if there’s any chance I could be pregnant. When I stop laughing, I tell her no. I have to remind myself (for the last 9-ish years anyway) not to say Oh HELL no! because those are the actual words that my brain thinks.

Once I’ve answered her ridiculous question, she plops a giant heavy-ass lead bib over me. Here’s what I want to know: If the heavy-ass lead bib isn’t enough to protect a potential fetus from radiation, is it really enough to protect me?

Radiation poisoning aside, I sit and watch as she approaches with her set of sharp thingys. You know, those little rectangles with the tab you bite down on… the ones with the sharp edges that feel like they may slice through the inside of your cheek? Yeah, those. Thankfully, I’ve never seen one removed from my mouth with blood on it.

The hygienist then hides behind a shielded area while she snaps the picture. So… she needs to be behind a shield but I only have a bib. Seems legit.

She removes the sharp thingy and I wonder if I’m too drool-y. That would suck since a line of spit will then form from my mouth to the sharp thingy. And of course, when that line breaks, it will end up on my chin. How attractive. What the hell am I going to wipe that with? My sleeve? I’m not a four-year old. Also, short sleeves would present a problem.

… And then we change rooms so she can jab at my mouth with another sharp thingy.

wave

what sandra thinks @ redbubble

#atozchallenge | bitchfest
© 2017 what sandra thinks
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About what sandra thinks

Sandra began writing when she was a sixth grader. She is a teller of stories through poetry, fiction, and tales from her own life. And she thinks too much. Read, think, enjoy, laugh.
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19 Responses to bitchfest | x – x-rays at the dentist #atozchallenge

  1. Funny. I was just at the dentist on Monday but no xrays till the next visit in the fall. Nothing like cardboard chunks in your mouth 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yep. Going to the dentist is never fun….EVER. And I like ours. A lot. But it generally sucks. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think they have a nationwide contest to see who can jam the most objects into your mouth. They are not taking x-rays, it is photographic evidence for the competition.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Marquessa says:

    I’m neutral on dentist. Actually fell asleep once during a root canal which was embarrasing. What I hate is the high pitch sound of the drill combined that feeling of brain freeze!😥

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was my life yesterday! I had to have TWO sets of x-rays taken! Thankfully the first didn’t have those tabby things, but something else to bite down on. Then the second, I had to have this hard plastic rectangle jammed down into my gums on the top and bottom. The thing is, each time I go in, I always have to ask for the baby tools. My mouth is so small, the adult ones don’t fit. It only took me gagging a few times and not being able to even close my mouth (let alone bite down) during the 2nd set of x-rays for the hygienist to actually go and find the child sized one. Plus it’s SOOO expensive

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Meg Sorick says:

    Very late to the party … but yes dental x-rays are the worst!

    Liked by 1 person

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