v | vanessa
Vanessa. I hate you.
People say some crap things about Saturday Night Live, but I love watching it. I’ve enjoyed it since I started watching around the time of Phil Hartman (RIP), Dennis Miller, Dana Carvey, Kevin Nealon. I remember laughing at Chris Farley (RIP) (lives in a van by the river), [Senator] Al Franken (doggone it, people like him), Deep Thoughts, The Ambiguously Gay Duo, Will Forte (now he is known only as… The Falconer), Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Andy Samberg… and obviously, Seth Meyers (love him… but you already know that)…
It’s not perfect. There are always a few super annoying cast members. I’ve reserved seats for them on the PCF*: Rob Schneider, Molly Shannon, Chris Kattan, Rachel Dratch, Fred Armisen… I could go on but I don’t wanna.
But I think the good outweighs the bad. When I watch now, it’s for Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant, boy-next-door Colin Jost, Bobby Moynihan, Kenan Thompson, and of course Leslie Jones. I think she may be the funniest person on the show right now. Love her.
And then… there are the current cast members I cannot stand. One more than any other.
Vanessa Bayer… what the fuck is she doing on the show?
She is not funny. She is annoying as fuck. She has the same grating, whiny voice in every fucking sketch. OH MY GOD how I hate her! Little Jewish boy… or child actor girl… or literally any other character she plays — the fucking same. She makes me want to rip my ears off and use them to block my eyes. I desperately want to kick her in the face. How is she even on the show? She must be sleeping with Lorne.
Please NBC – Lorne – who-the fuck-ever:
Get her the hell off SNL!
While you’re at it, get rid of Michael Che (he’s such a dick), Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney, too.
*PCF: The PCF or ‘plane crash flight’ is the flight which will crash and burn while loaded with passengers of my choosing. Think Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Kanye…