I’m struggling to write… but I’m sure you already know that… it’s got to be painfully obvious with the crap I’ve been posting. My alphabet is crumbling. I may not make it with M tomorrow. I have to bake some cookies and make some chocolate covered toffee and and a cheesecake. Sunday may be a day off from the alphabet, but it’s Easter. I won’t have any writing time. And if M is late, I’ll be behind for N. And every other letter after that.
Something is wrong with me. My brain isn’t working. I might be able to get the music post out there… maybe. But even then, every word I write sounds so stupid. It’s like I suddenly have nothing in my head. I can’t get thoughts on paper. Hell, I can’t get thoughts at all.
I’m frustrated with myself. This has been going on for days… it feels like I’ll never write anything decent again. Not for this challenge… not fiction… not poetry… just nothing.
I know I’m supposed to give myself a break, but I don’t have time for that. And I don’t want a break! I want to be able to write again without sounding like an idiot.
In my head, I’ve been doing really well… I feel good. Right now is the first time I’ve cried in a few weeks. That sounds pathetic but a few weeks is really good for me. But my incapacity to write is breaking me.
My husband finds it hilarious that I’m having trouble finding things to bitch about. Or trouble writing about them when I do find something.
I’m not going to quit or anything… but I have no idea if I’m going to be able to post anything good anytime soon. To all of you… my friends and readers… all my recent new followers. I’m sorry. I hope it gets better… and I hope you’ll still be here to see it.