not as advertised.

blurIt will come as no surprise
I have overanalyzed
My mind has generalized
My heart’s been demonized
Inside I’ve dramatized
Dreamt and fantasized
Wished my life romanticized
Still my soul does agonize
When my hope is jeopardized
If I could be hypnotized
My racing thoughts paralyzed
No longer terrorized
I could find a compromise
Maybe even improvise
Until I am unrecognized
But instead I rationalize
And continually apologize
Repeating this exercise
That I’ve now memorized
And it makes me despise
Everything I symbolize
My pointless weak disguise
Only serves to emphasize
I’m not as advertised


©2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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45 Responses to not as advertised.

  1. Marquessa says:

    So powerful Sandra. This reminds of a place I used to live and still revisit from time to time. One day at a day…hugs!💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sudershana says:

    Splendous! ✌👍

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This was a fantastic read. It’s true of us all, to some extent, I think. There’s likely very people we each show our true selves to, completely. And only those few people know we aren’t “as advertised”. But that’s one of the things I enjoy about this medium: anonymous courage. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. VictoryInTrouble says:

    That’s really good! Very powerful and well crafted. Hugs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Halycon Prana says:

    We take you as you are. We wouldn’t want you any other way. Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That was so marvellous. 😊 This reminds me of how I advertised myself to a certain someone. Love the depths of your lines. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  7. willowwrites says:

    great rhythm and fantastic job coming up with all those “eyes” sounds – your soul has been now sanit-eyes’d.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. willowwrites says:

    making the lists is have the fun of creating these…cathartic really.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Meg Sorick says:

    Love the rhyme – the poem itself is brilliant. I am having a tough time expressing myself today. Maybe I’ll think of something more meaningful to say later, but I get it, I totally do. Love to you…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks. Haven’t heard much from you lately… I hope things are going better for you… and that you don’t forget I exist. Are you getting the snow you wanted today? We’re supposed to get some later this afternoon…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Meg Sorick says:

        No actually, things are pretty much the same. Maybe even a little worse. And then there’s just the state of everything in general – politics, etc. I surely don’t forget you exist. I’ve been doing so much talking with H and not solving anything that I’m just sick of it. So it’s not you, love. It’s me. We are getting some snow. Figures, I have an important Dr’s appointment an hour away today. Seeing a pulmonologist about my chronic cough. I’m probably dying… Ugh.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I liked how you conveyed feeling in the words along with the actual aesthetic of the prose. Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. magarisa says:

    Superbly written, Sandra.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. magarisa says:

    I forgot to add that I sometimes feel the same way. 💗

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Lennon Carlyle says:

    Exquisite writing skills Sandra. It’s mysterious, haunting, and shows us you’re uncertainty. Mystery is very alluring. Well done girlfriend!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Wonderful. That looks so hard to do and yet it worked perfectly. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. mandibelle16 says:

    As usual, beautiful poetry Sandra. You’re a very talented writer. How are things going for you? Are you starting to feel better with more light this time of year slowly? How are your kids and the job hunt? Hope you’re well 🙏🏻🌺

    Liked by 1 person

    • Than you, Mandi! I’m doing alright. I do think more daylight is better.

      I’ve still gotten nowhere on the job hunt… still having trouble doing much of anything. I’m beginning to think that’s permanent… that I’m never going to be able to do it.

      The kids are good… although some days I feel like they fight just to stress me out! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • mandibelle16 says:

        Well, it seems being a Mom is ‘job’ enough I can imagine. Kids just fight, my brothers when we were younger as well. I haven’t had much luck with jobs either. But I’ve been doing some volunteer writing and such too improve my experience. Summer/Spring will be here soon enough and the kids can go outside right? Have a great week!

        Liked by 1 person

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