No destination, no direction
Perfect for driving on winding roads
But in life I need a map
Because I have gotten lost
I carved myself a path
But it was never my own
I tried to course correct
Still I am disoriented and alone

Never wanted to fall silently
Too deep to be found
But no search party is coming
My rope disintegrated long ago

They tell me I can fix it
With no helpful instruction
Apologies, but they are wrong
I cannot build a damn thing
Alone without a blueprint
And not from this place
Made of dirt and stone
Where I am now hidden
Since I slipped down into earth

Even when I see motion
Between sunshine and trees
It’s not my shining savior
It is truly just the wind
A tiny taste of what
I will never have from here

Just a hug, a touch, a moment
Someone to inspire a new start
They say I shouldn’t need another
But I can’t climb the wall alone
I misstep and I crash down
No one to catch me
No one to pull me up
I’m left weak and broken

And so I paint the walls
Of my deep dark cavern
But I’ve no partner when I draw
So all my pictures look the same
And so I write words in the dirt
Careful not to blur with my toes
But I’ve no partner when I write
So every word would bore the world

Don’t tell me it’s my fault
Or I dug this hole myself
And jumped in on my own
Because you’re wrong.

I was pushed.


© what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in anxiety, poetry, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to pushed.

  1. Did u have a chance to look at a tapping video on you tube yet? Bad day?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You and me both Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. VictoryInTrouble says:

    Wow, Sandra. This is really powerful. I understand that hole and I hope someone reaches in to help you up. Hugs, my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Meg Sorick says:

    Hey, babe I totally owe you an email. Promise tomorrow. Been in my own pit of despair so…. well that’s dramatic. You know what I mean. G’night, love. Till tomorrow. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That was a fantastic read!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. But I hate that you’re feeling this way. Wish I could help in some way. 😕

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Eric says:


    Liked by 1 person

  8. Al Lane says:

    When we’re in the hole,
    There’s no map to guide us out,
    No one there to listen,
    However much we shout

    But all it takes is one
    To offer down a hand
    Help us through the worst
    Remind us we can stand

    No one here is judging
    We just want to see you smile
    Take my hand and sit with me
    Let’s talk a little while


    Liked by 1 person

  9. mandibelle16 says:

    Hey Sandra. I hope things get better for you. Enjoy your weekend and relax, do things which make you feel good, even if it means Dad has to handle the kids a little more so you feel happier. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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