my mind took a trip
a walk in the woods
under a canopy
of quaking leaves
created from history
until I emerged
beside a raging river
water crashing into stone
like thoughts rushing through me
breaking at every twist
becoming directionless
my focus blurred
I searched for clarity
but with one misstep
I fell into the trap
down so low I couldn’t rise
deep into the quicksand
no rope nor vines to hold
and when finally the light
revealed itself to me
it was too late to grasp it
I was already swallowed
can I help you find something?
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I hate that feeling, not knowing what the fuck to do or where to go. My life is pretty stable actually, but it wasn’t always. And my mind has a hard time breaking old habits, some of which are 30-40 years old and not really applicable any more. Plus, I think I’m ADD to, so that doesn’t hel…hey look, a chicken! 😊
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I kind of think my life got TOO stable… if that makes any sense… But this isn’t so much an autobiographical poem for this moment… maybe for some other time… but not today… so far… LOL I had the word quicksand in my notes for a few weeks… finally used it. I don’t think I have ADD… just a crappy memory so I have no idea what those brilliant ideas I thought of in the shower this morning were… 🙂
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Ha! I hear that! I’m usual pretty even keel and mellow. But sometimes, and for no great reason, my mind gets so scattered. That’s when I feel like I’m in quicksand. Lose focus and I get that sinking feeling. I don’t like it. 😃
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It seems I fall in and get out often… maybe I really do have a vine… but I need more upper body strength. 😀
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Rope climbing will certainly do that for ya’. 😃
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God no! I am extremely afraid of heights! I only step on a stool in dire emergencies…
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😃
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Aha, here it is. That is a terrible feeling, being stuck and pulled under by circumstances. Like even if you know what step to take, you can’t get yourself to move anyway. Ugh. Because if you struggle, you risk sinking faster. 😳
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Yes — like as soon as you find the way out, you get sucked back in and you can’t get out anyway. Like that day recently when I was happy, having a great day, and then boom! Hell returned with a vengeance. And I forgot the happy… until I consciously forced myself to remember (marginally successful)…
And you know, in comparison, this is the more lighthearted of the rather dark poems I’ve set aside lately. Not so sure what that’s about. Well, that’s a lie. I do know…
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I swear I have those huge swings in mood, too. And then I try to convince myself it might be age/hormone/perimenopause… That can start as early as late 30s. Because the highs can be really high and the lows can bring me to my knees. And I probably shouldn’t put that in the comments but fuck it. 😕
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OMG… I cannot let myself think it’s anything to do with aging or I will fall even lower! How depressing! 😐 And you can always contact me elsewhere if you wanna continue this! I hesitate with that because I always feel like a bother…
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Nah never!
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😛 You may have regrets… (Oh!! I just thought of that commercial where the guy is getting a tattoo that says “no regrets” but really it says “no regerts”… Bahahahaha)
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Lol! Emailing you now…
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Hahahaa… I just sent you a twitter msg… hahahaa
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Hope your character finds her clarity, despite the light not showing the truth. Also, I nominated you for an award. It’s up to you whether or not you wan to participate.
https://mandibelle16.wordpress.com/2016/05/31/award-epically-awesome-award/
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Thank you so much!!
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I can relate 🙂
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I do love when people “get me”… But I don’t wish some of these feelings on anyone!
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Know this feeling.
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Thanks for reading but I’m sorry you’ve had this feeling.
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You’re welcome. Love your work. Sorry you know it too xx
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Thanks again. xo
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You’re welcome xo
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Hey, I’m still catching up with my reading, like this one a lot, feeling a little like this now with just getting home and no transition time, just, boom, right into the mess of life!
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I hate that feeling! No chance to catch your breath. Take your time… and thanks! 🙂
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🙂 xo
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Wow, what a powerful post. I can relate to that sinking feeling, that out of control sensation when everything seems unstable and we’re falling through the cracks. It’s a scary feeling but here’s to us staying afloat Sandra. Take care. Hugs. xo
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Thanks… and hugs to you, too. I think the thing is… sometimes I can pull myself out but after a while, I’m too tired to do it anymore! Yet I keep trying. So what I have is very sore arms….
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So you need another set. I’m here! 🙂
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Thanks… you’re such a good friend. 🙂
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And that’s what friends are for … lending a helping hand and being there. 🙂
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And I am really glad I have you because I haven’t got many people who would do any of that for me.
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Have you felt my hug yet?
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Really trying to make myself feel better… but tonight… kind of failing. (hey, I tried emailing you… is that okay? did you get it?)
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Absolutely 🙂
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