stop.

stop. a poem by sandra.

I wrote this as a short narrative when I was about 17 years old. I found it in an old notebook a few months ago when I hit the jackpot in my basement. I played around with it a few different ways but finally landed at this ‘conversation‘ version… 


Stop.
. . . . . . . You don’t want me to stop.
I’m can’t do this again.
. . . . . . . We’ve never done it before.
But I have… and…
. . . . . . . No, you haven’t. Not with me.
I don’t like you that way.
. . . . . . . Yes, you do.
It doesn’t matter.
. . . . . . . It matters.
No. It doesn’t. It can’t.
. . . . . . . Yes, it can. And it does.
Let me go…
. . . . . . . You don’t want me to let you go.
I do… because it’s inevitable.
. . . . . . . Yes it is – we will be together.
No. The pain is inevitable.
. . . . . . . I won’t hurt you.
Everyone does eventually.
. . . . . . . Not me.
You won’t mean to but you will.
. . . . . . . Never. Trust me.
I can’t. I’m scared.
. . . . . . . I promise you can trust me.
But I trusted him and…
. . . . . . . He is not me.
He hurt me.
. . . . . . . He didn’t deserve you.
Maybe I didn’t deserve him.
. . . . . . . You didn’t. You deserve better.
That’s not what I meant.
. . . . . . . But that’s what I mean.
Are you going to let me go?
. . . . . . . No, I’m not.
But I’m broken.
. . . . . . . Not broken. Beautiful.
You never told me before.
. . . . . . . I was afraid to be your rebound.
You’re not… you’re something else.
. . . . . . . See? You do like me that way.
I didn’t say that.
. . . . . . . But I know it’s what you meant.
You have to stop kissing me.
. . . . . . . You don’t want me to stop. And I don’t think I can.
You have to let me…
. . . . . . . You kiss me like you never want to stop.
… let me think…
. . . . . . . Sometimes you think too much.
I’m trying to protect myself.
. . . . . . . I will protect you.
Why are you doing this?
. . . . . . . Because I love you.
You can’t love me.
. . . . . . . Too bad. I do.
Stop laughing.
. . . . . . . I can’t help it.
Stop making me laugh.
. . . . . . . No. I make you happy.
How do you know I’m happy?
. . . . . . . Oh, honey, I can feel it.
What do you feel?
. . . . . . . When you smile, it feels like heaven.
What if you can’t see me smile?
. . . . . . . It doesn’t matter – I still feel it.
What if I cry?
. . . . . . . When you hurt, there’s a knife in my heart.
And you’re always here for me…
. . . . . . . I know when you need me.
That seems impossible.
. . . . . . . I know when you want me, too.
I’m not even sure I know that.
. . . . . . . Yes, you do.
Stop smiling at me.
. . . . . . . Why? You make me happy.
Because when you smile, I can’t stop smiling.
. . . . . . . Then don’t stop.
I think I want another kiss.
. . . . . . . I think you can have all you want.
What if I want you to stay with me?
. . . . . . . I’m not going anywhere…
I think that might be okay.
. . . . . . . You think? Maybe? Okay?
Stop laughing.
. . . . . . . I think you know it will be perfect.
Maybe.
. . . . . . . Definitely.
I think you’re impossible.
. . . . . . . And you love me.
And you love me.
. . . . . . . Yes, I do.
Are you going to kiss me again?
. . . . . . . I’m never going to stop.

. . . . . . heart swirl.

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra began writing when she was a sixth grader. She is a teller of stories through poetry, fiction, and tales from her own life. And she thinks too much. Read, think, enjoy, laugh.
This entry was posted in poetry, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to stop.

  1. Wow! Great old notebook find! At first, I was afraid this was about being forced by this guy. But I was relieved when things turned sweet! You’ve had some nice guys in your life lucky girl. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was worried that would be the first thought… but I couldn’t bring myself to change the “stop” that kept showing up. It worked for me.

      Oh, and when I wrote the original back then, it was fiction. It was around the time just after my first serous boyfriend took off without explanation. I was looking for the guy I made up in this story. (Some of the otherin that notebook near this was very sad and a little bit angry!)

      But I have had some very nice guys in my life. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. stephieann8 says:

    Amazing! Your writing always gets to me in such an emotional way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Epically Awesome Award – Worldly Words

  4. An amazing write for a 17 year old.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Haylee says:

    Loved this and to think the basis of it was penned as a teen – fantastic! It seemed a little clandestine to begin but was lovely to have such an affectionate ending 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That was amazing – that too for a 17 year old! Very well written! Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. theturtle says:

    You mean…there’s loads more ? Get to work girl 😉
    We would love to read more , no matter if you leave them “pure- teenage..ish” or if you “arrange” them like you did here 🙂
    Turtle Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh… yes… there is more. I will have to review again. The bins are still in my bedroom, partially sticking out from under the bed, threatening to trip me daily. Perhaps I should post the page of boys names and numbers. 😉 Hahaha… 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The V-Pub says:

    Beautiful, Sandra! I love finding old poetry. It’s like going back and reliving those experiences once again.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. WOW!! Simply mesmerising!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Now, this sounds like some delicious goings-on happening in the younger ladies life 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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