I’m trying, but I’m graceless
Don’t have the sunny side to face this
I am invisible and weightless
You can’t imagine how I hate this
– from “Graceless” lyrics by Matt Berninger | The National

Some days, every damn thing I do ends in disaster. Oh, it could be something as simple as dropping a glop of water on my foot while emptying the dishwasher. Or it could be accidentally impaling my foot with a toothpick that I didn’t know had fallen on the rug. And when I try to make it to the sink to clean the wound, I walk right into the table leg and further injure myself. Once I’ve bandaged all that requires bandaging, I hit the soap pump to wash my hands and it’s nearly empty so it spurts at me and flies right into my eye.

Many expletives.

One-eye blind. And limping. Graceless.

Those days make me want to pop in my earbuds, lean back on my bed’s headboard in darkness, and listen to some sexy man-voice sing to me. It calms me. Or it excites me in an entirely different and pleasant way… which helps me. Oh, yes, my eye still stings, even after rinsing my contact lens three times. And yes, my foot still hurts like hell. Occasional expletives. But the music… the voice… I am good.

And sometimes I get to go to that special place. For five whole minutes.

Mom… he touched me!
She touched me first!

Yes, I know… everyone’s touchy. And I know… it’s time to make dinner. Chop the vegetables. I’ll be right there. Hopefully I won’t walk into any other furniture. Or chop my finger along with that bell pepper. At least it’s a red bell pepper so any bleeding will be camouflaged nicely. No one will notice my utter gracelessness.

–Writing 101: day 5