A-to-Z
I’m in trouble. I have V written for tomorrow but that’s it. I have nothing else. I have been trying for days to get W written. It’s not working. I started… but I can’t finish… and I hate what I have so far. And I still have to write X Y Z… and I don’t have much time. I need to finish W by the end of tomorrow…
I don’t know why I’m telling you this… it’s not like anyone can help me.
I was so glad I got ahead with this challenge… but now I’m stuck… and I want to finish… without the last four posts being awful.
I know that the problem… or part of it… is just… me. I’m a mess. I’m sad. I cry. I can’t focus. I’m having a lot of trouble doing anything today. I made myself breakfast but I couldn’t eat it… I threw it away. I’m broken. I can’t seem to do any of the things that might help me feel better. I know what those things are… I just can’t… move.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ruin my story. I’ve ruined enough.
x
sandra
what sandra thinks 
Breathe! 😕
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It’s not helping. I’ve been practically fucking meditating. I swear, I am not lying when I say that nothing works for me. I’m never going to be able to write the rest of this.
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Not if you keep telling yourself you can’t, no. I wish I knew how to throw you some confidence.
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Oh, it’s just like yesterday. “It only works if I believe it works”… I think that’s crap.
The thing is… I actually think I CAN do this. I’m just really frustrated because I’m in such a bad place right now that I’m having trouble focusing… or doing anything. Except eating those Cracker Jacks I just had.
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Oooh! Cracker Jacks are terrific. Much better than that Fiddle Faddle crap. 😃
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I only have them in the house because my kids had never had them before… and I thought it was necessary for them to have that experience… even though the prizes suck now as opposed to when I was a kid.
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Do they? What do you get now?
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An ugly sticker with some sort of code for something online… We didn’t go online to see what sort of crap it was…
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Ha! I don’t blame you. 😏
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🙂
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Be like Captain Kirk when he dealt with the Kobayashi Maru. Look it up and you will read the answer, grasshopper.
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I’m not sure what I’m looking up… the rest of my story? I feel drained…
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Just be a little light hearted about rules and the like. Kirk was in a no win scenario, so he change the conditions, or the rules, and won. So, my takeaway is don’t be constrained by the rules and expectations of others.
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Thanks… that is really good advice…. for more than just this story…
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Yup. Now, I don’t think that I’m asking a lot, but if you could please change the name of your blog to “Whatgrasshopperthinks”.
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Okay… anything for you…
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Really? Well, I’m kind of hoping to find a life size water fountain of Poseidon that will pee water back into my pool. Can you make that happen, too?
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Seems like something I could find in Greece. I’ll need a plane ticket…
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Fine, I’ll get you one. But, I’m pretty sure that there are lots of people in your area that have those statues on their lawns. 😉
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Probably in the next town over… 😛
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lmao! Yes, I agree. 😀
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I wish I could give you some hints if I was allowed. Am I allowed?
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Oh, you can… but I don’t want you to be offended if I go my own way anyway! The thing is, I have a few too many ideas and not enough ideas all at once. There is a place I could end the story where it would work… but that would be after V… and I don’t want to do that. But sure… you can even email your thoughts to me so no one will know what they are ahead of time!
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Now, I have to think back as to what I was thinking. I just awoke from a nap. Give me a bit, and I’ll think of them again. LOL! 🙂
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It’s okay… I do have ideas… Just having trouble putting them together…
And Meg’s right anyway… It should all come from me since it’s my story… So don’t worry about it!
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Okey dokie. 🙂 Good luck with the end. I look forward to it. 🙂
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I don’t know what is troubling you or know the magic words to help you through this (if I did I’d share them in a heart beat) but know you aren’t alone. We’ve never met or if we have we might not know it but I know what it feels like to be drained and stuck. It absolutely, unequivocally sucks. Do what you can, let out the emotion to the best of your ability, and remember that this shall pass. ❤️ Your writing is awesome so I can only assume you are, too. I don’t think anything you do will ruin the story personally. 🙂 Hope you feel better again sooner rather than later!
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Thank you so much. I am probably trying too hard. Sometimes if I take a break and do something else I can get back to a story. But I’ve got a ‘deadline’ for this… I think the stress of that is making things worse. But I’m so happy to hear that you enjoy my writing. Some days I feel like it’s terrible! So thank you again… ♥
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That’s an understandable feeling! Maybe you could take a short break of an hour or two and then come back to it. Sometimes a 20 minute power nap or walk help me recollect. You are very welcome!
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I do have to take a break whether I want to or not since I have to pick up the kids from school. But coming back to this after that might be a challenge since then they’ll be home… so it probably won’t be as quiet… but I don’t always need quiet…
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The truth is your story will NOT be ruined if the last 4 posts are not perfect. Writers always have to revise, revise and revise again. Think of the A- Z challenge as the first draft of this story and just finish. There is no rule that says you can’t go back and edit it for the readers after the fact. And remember… This is an artifical deadline. You don’t win or lose anything here. It puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on you. Challenges are good for motivating you to write but if its stressing you out this bad, give yourself permission to slacken the pace. And while its nice of folks to offer ideas… this is your story sweetie! ❤️ We are all going to read the story whether or not you finish on time! 🙌
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Thanks… ♥♥
Unlike previous years doing this challenge, I was so far ahead with my posts… and now I’m frustrated because I should have been able to get the rest done ahead of time, too, but I’m stuck in a hole. I guess I kind of wrote myself into a corner (is that the expression?) because I could end it at a certain point… but it’s not at Z.
I know… I put way too much pressure on myself. The only way this definitely wouldn’t have happened was if I finished all of the letters before April even began…
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End it where ever it seems like the natural conclusion. The left over letters can be individual posts not part of the story. Or finding the diary in your things in the distant future?
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I don’t want to do that. I just don’t feel like it fits and I want it to all flow… to be the same story. Plus I think that would be even harder for me to write at this point… you know what I mean? Changing tracks? I don’t know. I think part of the problem (besides my mental state) is that I have a few tiny ideas and I want to work them all in but I’m having trouble finding a way…
Hopefully I can look at it and work on it again later tonight after I pick up from karate, make dinner, eat dinner, get kids to finish homework, get kids to calm down and go to bed. So yeah… in about 5-7 hours…
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Ahhhh, good thing you’re night owl!
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I know…! I will also have some time in the morning but to be honest, that is the worst time of day for me as far as mood and crying and all of that.
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Aw, honey… 😢
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I’ve been winging it since the letter O. I’m going Day by day seeing what happens. God knows what’s ahead. I’m waiting for Jimmy to come in and annoy me so I can get something to write about 😂😂😂
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I don’t think I’d be as stressed if I wasn’t writing a story. I just want it to have a good ending!
I hope you get annoyed… for writing purposes, of course! 😄
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It will come to you xxx
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Chill! If you’re late its no big deal. It’s your blog, right?
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I just don’t want to be late. I’ve been ahead up until now… makes me feel like I failed. I know it’s stupid…
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I might not get mine all in time. Or I might have some lame ones. But I cannot put that much pressure on myself. And if you’re a few days late you won’t let anyone down. Promise!
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Just myself… which is my whole problem, I guess!
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W is for Writer’s Block. 😩
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Nooooo… Please don’t say those words to me!!
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Hmm… so W… you could always do the question words “why, what, when, where”
What else starts with W? Watermelon, Wal-Mart, Wearing, Wiggle, Worm, Womp-Womp.
♡♡♡ just some suggestions and a *hug!!*
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Definitely not Wal-Mart… hahaha 🙂 Thanks for the hug!
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I was excited to see you came up with something! 😁
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🙂 Thanks!
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I shouldn’t give you advice ’cause I am stuck myself at W. And writing every night is exhausting and my brain isn’t working. I’m loving your story though. I just love the journal style we are doing…
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I love the journal style, too. I think I should try it again with a new story sometime. Maybe. But I feel like it’s difficult to write dialogue (which is my favorite thing to write)… because I want to do it the way I always do but I wouldn’t write in a journal the same way I’d write dialogue for a ‘regularly written’ story. So I’ve changed it up a little… tried to make it seem like I’m just remembering bits and pieces… Anyway…
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So true about lack of dialogue. I find myself lapsing back in…
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It’s way too hard not to…
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oh no! I’m a little late to this party, so this probably has been said many times up there *points to all the comments I skimmed over to get to the comment box* but I hope this cloud breaks for you soon! You are an amazing writer and I know the end of your story will be great. Not to put too much pressure on you to make it so. I’m sorry you are being sucked into this dark hole of emotions, and I wish I could send you some of my over bubbliness to help pull you out! *hugs* I know you can do it, I hope that you can find the belief in yourself to know it too! xoxo
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Oh… it’s not a party! 🙂 But thank you. ♥ I know I stress myself out a lot… but I also know that everything in my life being such a mess affects everything else… so I’m kind of in a hole…
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Yeah its kind of a catch 22 type thing, isn’t it? Sorry you are struggling so much! 😦
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Coming back after having read the end of the story… you did not mess it up at all!!!
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I’m glad you don’t think so. I was really worried… I struggled a lot at the end!
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