I’m having a little trouble
with loneliness
An incurable illness
for someone like me…
a girl who doesn’t know
how to talk
or find the right words
unless she’s hiding
behind a curtain
invisible to the world…
Forced to wait
for someone to find her
because she lacks
the courage
and the strength
to reach out alone
even when she feels
desperate
to mean something
to someone…
But hidden away
surrounded by darkness
I will never be found
it doesn’t matter
if my hair is perfect
or if I flash my smile
because
with my eyes closed
I can’t see you
and you can’t see me…
©2018 what sandra thinks
image source unknown
what sandra thinks 
💜 I hate the feeling….
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♥ It’s truly awful…
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Hugs. I’m always around, if you ever wanna unload…
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Thanks… I feel that when people say that, they later regret it… I am kind of a pain… 🙂
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I’ve never regretted when we’ve emailed each other. I just can’t claim to know all the answers, but I can listen.
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xo ♥
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Great finale. Well done from start to finish
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Thanks so much.
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Still enjoy reading your work. Have a good one.
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I’m glad… thanks.
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So elegant, so poignant, so sad. 💖💖
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Thanks very much… ♥
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I know that feeling too. Not necessarily loneliness, because I have minded being alone. But being introverted and not knowing what to say to people. I do it pretty freely here, and with close friends, but not really with anybody else.
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I don’t have any friends except here. And I bitch so much about my crappy life that I don’t even get why I have friends here!
I never fit in anywhere. And trying to talk to people offline is painful. And then there’s the non-alone loneliness. I think that’s even worse.
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I’m sorry. I get why you have friends here. We’re all fucked up in some way. We can just admit it here, I guess. 😊
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I guess… I don’t know.
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With some things, why ask why? Just be happy it is. 😊
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Don’t mind me. I’m just not having good days lately.
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I’m aware. 😕😕
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Part of it is the back pain. I’m probably never going to be able to get any treatment because of the insurance. Knowing I’m going to be in this kind of pain forever is totally breaking me. I’m not sure I can handle it. It’s too much.
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I’m so sorry. I wish I knew how to help. 😊😊
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There’s no help. That’s why it’s so devastating. I did everything I was supposed to do and I’m still screwed. I just wanted to do something to help the pain but I can’t. I’m afraid to call anyone again… the pain doctor or the insurance… because I can’t handle any more bad news. It’s been three business days since the docs office was supposed to try again with the insurance company… no news is bad news — the docs office told me before that if it was taking a long time, it was probably denied… which it was the first time.
Sorry, now I’m just rambling. But you get the idea…
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Insurance companies suck ass. Period. 😠
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Yeah… sure they do… but that doesn’t really matter. I still end up in pain for the rest of my life.
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😔
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What the hell, right? Fits in with everything else that’s wrong with my life.
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Man. Double 😔😔.
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I’m just at a loss. How am I supposed to spend the rest of my life in pain?
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I don’t know. I honestly don’t. I can’t believe they won’t cover the injections. I think they’d give you some relief. Doesn’t make sense. 😠
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I suppose there’s still a chance… I haven’t heard back since the docs office was supposed to try again… but if it’s taking a while, the answer will be no.
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Assholes.
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Oh, how I can relate to this emotion. – compelling writing, I must say. 🙂
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Thank you… but sorry you can relate… I don’t wish this feeling in anyone!
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I hear that, but unfortunately, it does. 😦
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This reminds me of an old John Lennon song. Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play? You surely have something to share, with writing like this.
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Thank you… that’s so nice of you to say. I wish I felt more comfortable around other people offline. But here, I’m different…
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And I, as well.
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😢
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I’m sorry… I’m kind of a downer today. Unemployment doesn’t make Mondays suck any less…
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Sometimes it feels like ALL days suck…😝
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Damn, that’s true. Lately, especially… 😦
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I know…
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Big fan of you and your poetry! I especially love this one. I can definitely relate.
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Thank you… I appreciate that… you’re very kind.
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We see you Sandra – through your words!
Hugs as ever.
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Sometimes I wonder if a face to go with the words would be a good thing or a bad thing. But I need to preserve the anonymity and the mystery…
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I can perceive the smile behind your mask. You should let it out more!
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Ah… this feeling… yes 😔
The despair is heartaching.
Those quiet heroes are often hard to find. Who can come alone and help you find the strength to start moving again.
Loneliness is a horrid thing and it’s scary how it can be captured so beautifully
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It consumes me lately…. loneliness. I hate it… although I admit, the darker feelings bring some good writing. Then again, so do really good feelings… so I’ll have some of those, please…
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Beautiful, intense, heartbreakingly sad … feeling all your feelings through your words. 💙
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Thanks so much. ♥
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I also revealed a darker side today. Poetry is for all feelings we have, especially the ones that come from a deep dark space. That’s why we write it is to get it out, right? I think so anyway.
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Yes… I think so, too.
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I started a poem (which has been an absolute struggle lately…) about being alone in a crowd. It’s how I feel a lot of the time. Just hiding behind my public persona pretending everything is ok. We are on the same frequency sister 💙
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♥ I suppose having offline friends might help… but that’s not going to happen… I suck at that. Hell, I’m not even around other people very much at all. But even if I was… would I be myself? Probably not…
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Offline friends are only helpful if you (and they) like you for who you are, not who they expect you to be. And I think it makes it worse to pretend just to have social contact. But IRL we are thrust into social situations not of our choosing. In the online world, we find people with common interests and ideas. I suppose once we’re adults, meeting and making new friends becomes ever more difficult in the real world. 😕
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It really does. And people change… relocate… so it’s hard, I think, to maintain old friendships… beyond a yearly Christmas card, anyway…
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Exactly
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That’s a beautiful poem, because it so honestly makes me as a reader feel what you feel, which very few people can do.
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Thank you for the wonderful compliment!
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Thank you for the poem.
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This poem is exactly how I feel right now. Thank for sharing, and that picture is stunning!
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I’m not happy that you feel lonely like this… but I’m glad that you found something to connect with in the poem. ♥
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i can so relate to this. 😢😢
my heart breaking from loneliness right now.
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I’m so sorry. It’s a terrible feeling… but you’re definitely not the only one who feels it… ♥
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