Today is a bad day.
There are too many things bothering me. I can’t smile. I can’t eat. I can’t do much of anything. I know most of the things bothering me are out of my control, but it doesn’t matter… they are still killing me. And there are a few things I should be able to at least try to make better. But nothing I do is working. I don’t know where to go next. Except maybe somewhere I can curl up onto a ball and cry.
I wasn’t around much this weekend… I had things to do… places to go. And things were okay… until last night. And when anything that bothers me… anything at all… involves my kids, it’s a million times worse because I hate when they are upset and I can’t fix it. I do not think I was truly made to be a mom. I think I’m just too fucked up.
I’m sorry to anyone whose posts or comments I missed this weekend. I was going to go back and catch up but I don’t think I’m going to be able to. There are too many. I will still try, but I just don’t know. I’m sorry.
Today is a bad day.
And I don’t even know if I’m going to leave this post up.
©2018 what sandra thinks
I hope you feel better. Just my opinion, but I would say you don’t need to worry about other people’s posts, if it’s too overwhelming. best wishes to you and your kids–
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’ll forgive you a few days of reading/commenting, and hope you get your head back in gear soon. We will miss your comments and blog posts though. Hurry back (as slowly as is necessary) Sandra. Meanwhile hugs coming your way!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks. I’m hoping I can maybe write later at night but yesterday, I just crashed early. I was exhausted…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hormones!
LikeLike
I’m sorry, man. Days like this suck. I wish I could help, but you know where to find me if you need an ear. And don’t worry about missing posts. They’ll live, I promise. Just get to feeling better. 😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks… I don’t want to dump on people. I wasn’t even going to post this but I haven’t been around this weekend and I don’t want people to think I’ve disappeared. I know, it has only been a couple of days but still.
If I can just get through today… maybe it will get better… but it’s not going well so far. I wish my life wasn’t just filled with one bad thing after another. I seriously don’t think I’m ever going to catch a break. It’s too much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw, don’t think like that. Was what happened that bad? 😕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, my daughter was crying for an hour last night over it… and I can’t figure out how to “fix” it. And then there’s my own shit. I think I officially hate my life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmm. We’ve talked about this before. Some of the stuff they face are things they’ll just have to figure out on their own. We can’t fox everything for them. She ask for advice?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, kind of. A big part of it is that it bothers me that she has to deal with certain things at her age. She’s only 10… it just seems like it’s way too soon. And I worry when she sounds a little too much like me because I’m fucked up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha! Ya’ know, I’ve thought the same of my boys. Because I’m fucked up too, that is. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I worry a lot because it’s only going to get worse from here. I hope I can handle it… but I’m not so sure. I question my life choices.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Been there, done that. 😏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Blogging should always about fun and/or finding a way to vent things off… And as long as you don’t get paid to do it, you don’t owe anyone anything, dear Sandra 🙂 Of course we’ll be waiting for your kind words in the meanwhile, but take as much time as you need to take care of yourself! *warm hugs*
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much. I don’t really want to disappear from here because it sometimes helps get my mind off things. Today is just really bad. 😦 Thanks for the hugs… I sure need them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is a good thing to come and vent here too! Just don’t wear yourself out trying to keep up with everybody 🙂 xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope you get through today and that tomorrow is better. I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad. Sending hugs, my dear. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks… I hope tomorrow is better, too. Today sucks…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Our cities will be facing each other in the Super Bowl! 😱 we can trash talk football for a few laughs! 😜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! I was just telling Tony that I don’t really get into it like other people do… partly because I’ve never been super into sports but also because if I get sucked in, it stresses me out! But yesterday, we were at my mom’s (for my son’s birthday) and mom is into it as are my sisters and brother-in-law so they were not happy with how things were going… but in the end… comeback win… again! I wasn’t even there to see it. LOL Husband, kids and I were in the car on the way home. I figured it’d be over at one point and thought I’d check the score… it wasn’t over and they were ahead… I was surprised. And when they won, I had to text my mom… she was all excited… LOL
Wow… that was a long story.
Also, because Gronk’s # is 87, Dunkin has coffee for 87 cents the day after the Patriots win… so that’s why I like when they win. For the coffee. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah! That’s awesome! We were glued to the TV yesterday – hoping for the Eagles to win and now that they face the Pats, it will be a rematch of the LAST time they went to the super bowl and LOST! Wahhhhhhh! 😫
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had no idea it was a rematch. But you know me… I don’t follow it closely so I remember very little of that sort of thing. 🙂 But I sure wish I could get a cash prize whenever the Pats win. Maybe I should start gambling. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, it’s been 14 years! I’m sure no one but Eagles fans and sports writers remember! 😜
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think one of the very worst feelings of all is when we can’t ‘fix’ things for our kids. Hoping tomorrow will be better x
LikeLiked by 1 person
It really is. We want everything to go smoothly for them all the time… you sort of get used to being able to make that happen when they’re little… but that kind of goes away as they get older.
Thanks so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re so right, the worry never goes, we would sacrifice our own happiness if it meant they could be happy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Makes me wonder how much my mom worries about me. And I say that in the present tense because I’m sure she still does… It’s a forever thing…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed . Take care. Hope tomorrow you feel brighter xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much. ♥
LikeLike
I hope you leave this post up. It will be a reminder that not every day is rainbows and sunshine, but that’s why we move forward. To find the better.
Peace and better days to you
LikeLiked by 2 people
I didn’t really think of it that way. I was selfishly thinking it made me seem a little pathetic and I don’t want to be that. But you’re right… not every day is wonderful… that’s life. If it was fabulous all the time, fabulous wouldn’t be special.
Thanks very much ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hang in there. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you again. ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sending you a big virtual hug.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much. ♥♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs. I had a horrific weekend so I sympathize.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs to you, too. I’m sorry you had a bad weekend. I hope things turn around asap!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am always fond of the quote, “No matter what happens, be gentle with yourself.”
After all, why not vent? Why not reveal? Why not remind ourself and others that we are only human with all the limitations included with that reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you…
I am truly terrible at being gentle with myself. I’ve been told for as long as I can remember that I’m too hard on myself. I know it’s true, but I haven’t been able to overcome it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t have daughters but my friends that do talk about the drama and hurt feelings, etc. I remember some parts of school and friendships were tough for me, too. I think all that happens earlier nowadays than when I grew up. Things will look up soon I’m sure!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks ♥
I think that’s part of the problem… I remember all too well what it was like when I was a kid… getting toward the teenage years… and some of it was awful. I guess she has to go through it but it just hurts me… because I know it hurts her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope you’re feeling better soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks ♥
LikeLike
Today is a bad day, but tomorrow can be better! 🙂 ❤ I hope it gets better, Sandra
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks… I hope so, too…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t worry about missing comments, Sandra. I hope you’re feeling better. I don’t believe at all that you’re too fucked up to be a mom. 💗 *hugs*
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are loved and adored and though the bad days can floor you there’s always people here to help you back up.
Take your time… don’t rush… do what you must. I know how overwhelming life can be. One foot forward and we’ll see what tomorrow brings ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, love. It’s so nice of you to say such sweet things. I’m having a bad week. Just seems that everything is going wrong.
Today, though, I’m having a better day… so there’s still hope, right? ♥
LikeLike
Never let hope die. It’s the mantra I tell myself
… or she’s a cheerleader that needs saving. I can never figure out which is true 😋
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think even when I say I feel hopeless, I really don’t. There’s always something in there… telling me I cannot know if tomorrow will be a brighter day. So I hope.
I also always have my sense of humor (and sarcasm and dirty mind). If the sense of humor ever goes, I’m in real trouble! I think I’m safe there, though. 😛
LikeLike
Hope is very resilient. You might not feel it all the time but there’s always a spark. The challenge is finding it and keeping it alive.
Humour is a good thing to have. Mine can become a crutch at times to protect myself but it’s necessary.
….dirty mind… really? 😋
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes my humor comes out at inappropriate times. But it always helps me.
Oh, you know me… dirty mind and all. 😛
LikeLike
The best humour is spontaneous and yours helps more than just you!
Yes that dirty mind has a reputation 😋
LikeLiked by 1 person
Does it? I’d better live up to that reputation, then… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes you should 😋♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will… 🙂 ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
My goodness, look at all of these comments from people that support you and care about you. This post breaks my heart. But, seeing all of these comments made me smile because it affirms how important you are to all of us and how much we adore you. We’re all here for you and you just keep up with the posts and letting it flow so we can be here for you. Hugs Sweetness!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks ♥ I’m tired of the bad days. I’m tired of bad news. And I’m tired of dumping on people. I know no one hates me for it, though. Well, except for me… xo
LikeLike