no resolutions. #socs

Posted on 31 December 2017 by what sandra thinks

Maybe I’m just a hater of all traditions. No… just the ones I think are stupid. Just the ones I think people subscribe to only because they think they’re supposed to. Like New Year’s resolutions. What do people do? Save up changes they want to make until 1/1? If one wants to make a change and has the power to do so, why wait until 1/1? Just do it. I wish I had that power… because there are loads of things I need to change.

I know you are already formulating your response to me. “Yes you can.” “You can do anything.” “You have the power.” “You just need to do it.” Believe me… I hear you. But I don’t think many grasp what they are asking of me. I know doing these things seem logical and wholly uncomplicated.

Need to change/do/get/have something? Make it happen.

But for me (and I’m sure others like me… I know I’m not special), doing these things is the equivalent of brain surgery or climbing to the top of Mt. Everest. I don’t know how… I don’t have the ability… and they feel impossible. I know that doesn’t make them impossible for a well-adjusted person… but it makes them impossible for me.

I can still hear your thoughts. “They’re impossible because you tell yourself they are.” Actually, I don’t tell myself that at all! I constantly tell myself the opposite. I can do it. I constantly come up with plans and try to put them into action. All the fucking time. I can think it all to death. But when it comes to doing it… I am paralyzed beyond my control.

Okay… enough mind-reading.

The point is (do I even have one?)… I think New Year’s resolutions are crap. No offense intended if you make them, like them, believe in them. If they work for you… great! However, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone keep a New Year’s resolution. I think it’s all for show. What I think it should be, though, is embarrassing.

Because by January 2nd, all those empty resolutions have been broken.

 

divider dots. red.

This terribly optimistic post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. No editing is allowed… and this week, the prompt is ‘resolution.’


©2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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42 Responses to no resolutions. #socs

  1. sonofabeach96 says:
    31 December 2017 at 12:14 am

    Im with you on the resolution. I guess it can sorta be motivating, in a new-beginning, fresh-start kinda way. But it’s not usually a successful technique.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. MyStoriesWithMusic says:
    31 December 2017 at 12:42 am

    Probably a lot more than half has been broken…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Captain Q says:
    31 December 2017 at 6:37 am

    I hate New Year’s in general. It’s stupid.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Peter's pondering says:
    31 December 2017 at 7:34 am

    With you all the way here Sandra. The only resolution I have each year is to keep on keeping on! It works and I’ve not broken it yet!
    Love, hugs, and best wishes for 2018.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Juli Hoffman says:
    31 December 2017 at 9:29 am

    New Year Resolutions ARE crap!!! They are a guaranteed way to fail! They give people another way to shame themselves into feeling like they’re not good enough. It’s one thing to make attainable goals, but this can be done at any time. It’s quite another to shame oneself into making resolutions that will be broken in a matter of weeks or days. I’m practically a shame-addict. I constantly fight with the feelings of not being good enough. The LAST thing I need is to feed into that addiction, to tear myself apart. That’s why most diets fail. We set ourselves up to fail, and then when it happens, we can beat ourselves up about it. (At least that’s what I do.) I WILL tell you what does seem to be working, at least for me. I’ve been digging around at the sources of my pain and shame, stuff from my early childhood. THAT’S been incredibly enlightening. I’ve also been trying a new to me technique where I acknowledge the pain, feel the pain, or depression, or whatever when it comes up. I’m so used to pushing it down, pretending to be happy when I’m not…it’s been a real eye-opener. Like the other day, everything was going well, I had a good morning, but then my inner monologue began and I felt depression creeping in. But instead of trying to reason with it, instead of trying to ignore it, instead of feeling WORSE because I had no obvious reason to feel this way, I stopped what I was doing for a moment and just allowed myself to feel what I was feeling. “I’m depressed. And that’s okay. And I don’t have to justify the way I feel.” I didn’t have to sit with this feeling for very long. It soon became apparent that the depression was there because I’m not used to feeling good. It’s as though depression is my default mode when I’m in unfamiliar territory. And the cool thing is, when I didn’t fight the feeling, when I simply told myself that it was okay, that I was allowed to feel whatever it was that I was feeling, without judgement…the depression, well it simply slipped back to wherever it had been hiding. Instead of holding on to the depression for the rest of the day, or for the rest of the week, instead of fighting and wrestling together, of tearing myself apart, I felt better again. This is a NEW to me technique. And I’m not going to lie, it was scary to allow myself to fully feel my depression the first couple of times I tried this. I was afraid I’d drown in it. But it only lasted a matter of seconds, maybe up to a full minute once. Much better than wrestling with it for days. Happiness is only ONE emotion. We’re allowed to feel other emotions, even if they aren’t our favorite flavors. This is what I’m wrestling with anyway. Not a New Year Resolution, by any means, but I’m going to continue to practice this IN the New Year! Take Care!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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    • what sandra thinks says:
      31 December 2017 at 1:41 pm

      I appreciate you sharing this so much! You’re right… resolutions are just a set up for failure and I do that to myself enough!

      I wish I had some way to fight my bad feelings but I think it only works if I truly don’t know what’s upsetting me. Problem is… I do know. There is a list of things that I can’t fix that constantly get to me, sometimes worse than other times. I’m not sure how to give in to that depressed or anxious feeling. I understand what you’re saying in theory… but I don’t know how I’d do what you’re doing. Of course, different things work for different people. I’m glad what you’re doing is helping you! I don’t think I’m going to be able to deal with my feelings until I fix some of the things causing them. But I don’t know how to fix them. I’m tired of having to try so hard all the time when it seems like so many other people are just fine without trying at all! I feel cursed!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. gigglingfattie says:
    31 December 2017 at 9:43 am

    I am 100% with you!! I hate New Years and resolutions. I see it as any other day and literally want to be in my pjs and in bed sleeping by like 10. Although I am being forced to go out tonight, apparently I’m still 5 and if my parents have been invited then I am invited too (which is nice to be included) and have no choice to go or not. The resolutions thing never stuck with me – I kind of find it a little bit like lent, you say you’re going to do something just for the social recognition and then just let it slide into obscurity after a day or two.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • what sandra thinks says:
      31 December 2017 at 1:43 pm

      Yes, exactly! People seem to say what they’re going to do (New Years and lent) just because they think they have to… just to have something to tell people… but they never actually do it. It’s just for show!

      Have fun tonight… maybe I will watch some stuff on Netflix. Or go to bed early. Ha! That never happens!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • gigglingfattie says:
        31 December 2017 at 1:52 pm

        Im heading for a nap now. I might gracefully bow out of dinner. Im not going to be responsible for spreading my cold to a bunch of sweet old grandparents lol

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  7. ladieswholunchreviews says:
    31 December 2017 at 12:37 pm

    I just like leaving the old behind and making a fresh start. Kind of like when school started and I got new spiral notebooks. I can always reinvent myself again. Maybe I’m just immature, but I like being optimistic, even if I have to force it sometimes. But not really resolutions, more like goals to strive for.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. theacquiescentsoul says:
    31 December 2017 at 1:11 pm

    I quit making resolutions a long time ago…
    Other than the one I made today: I’ll do everything in my power to see 2019.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  9. Hunida says:
    31 December 2017 at 3:07 pm

    I never make New Year’s Resolutions. They’re dumb to me, too. If you wanna change there’s no reason to wait until 1/1.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. Meg says:
    31 December 2017 at 3:56 pm

    Just an arbitrary date, I say. Besides why wait till the new year to make changes? As if the winter wasn’t dreary enough, then suddenly you load up with all these unreachable goals. Blech. No thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. 33290857muse says:
    2 January 2018 at 12:31 pm

    I just wrote about how I think New Year’s resolutions can actually be harmful. With certain parameters in place, however, I do think they can be helpful. http://musingdad.com/2018/01/01/new-years-resolutions-dangerous/

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  12. Jane Gealy says:
    4 January 2018 at 5:05 am

    I’ve not made a NYR for 30 or more years, but from this point on I will make an exception: to reduce the amount of plastic I buy/use and to be more ‘earth conscious.’

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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