bitchfest | y – yoda #atozchallenge

Posted on 29 April 2017 by what sandra thinks

#atozchallenge 2017 | bitchfest | what sandra thinks

[Disclaimer: This is just for a laugh… a fictional-rant.]

I have no strong emotions toward Yoda either way. Please don’t come at me with reasons no one should bitch about Yoda… this post does not reflect my actual opinion. I just didn’t know what to write… this was my son’s suggestion. I swear I am not as much of a nerd as this post implies… I’m just surrounded by the obsessions of my husband and son. I also know lots of crazy detail about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Oh, wait, that probably makes me a nerd, too.

• • •

y | yoda

Is Yoda supposed to be a lovable little grandpa-type character? Is he supposed to look (and therefore seem) old and wise? I can accept the old and wise. I can even accept that he represents the power of The Force well because he can defeat bad dudes despite his small stature.

But he’s a little troll.

yoda

Of course there is try. Success or failure… but one must try to get there.

I am so sick of people imitating his manner of speech. Bite me, you should. [I know, I just did it. I know.] It’s gotten old. Like, really old. Yoda-age old.

[Ahh… see I’m not that much of a nerd… I don’t know how old he is… but I bet if I ask my son or husband, they’ll know the answer. Hold please… … I knew it. The boy says, “He was about 900 when he died.”]

He’s a fucking Jedi Master… he can move shit with his mind but he can’t put words in order? Yeah, I know… maybe that’s the way his kind speak. I don’t care. When the Jedi Masters gather, all the others can manage proper word order… but not him. Silly little muppet. His voice is creepy, too. I know this because when my husband imitates it, he sounds like a pervy old man. I have forbidden him from doing it ever again.

So, in short (pun intended), he’s a wrinkly little green troll… I just want to kick him across the room. Mace Windu should clearly have been in charge.

wave

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#atozchallenge | bitchfest
© 2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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15 Responses to bitchfest | y – yoda #atozchallenge

  1. sonofabeach96 says:
    29 April 2017 at 6:22 pm

    Hahahaha! I read this to one of the twins, and he said, and I quote, “Ha! She says she’s not a Star Wars nerd, but she knows who Mace Windu is?!?”. 😃😃

    Liked by 2 people

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  2. gigglingfattie says:
    30 April 2017 at 8:24 am

    Oh I am surprised you took the chance on this one! When I first saw the title I thought it said “yoga” which I was all excited about – since I too curse it while I’m in the tail end of a 0:45-1:30 hold in downward dog.

    But I totally agree with you on this. The speech is annoying and he doesn’t really offer much advice does he? Although, when trying to annoy someone who is the BIGGEST star wars fan, calling him the “little green alien dude with big ears” does a great job of making them furious 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Outside Perception says:
    30 April 2017 at 10:35 am

    Poor Yodel <—- That's what my Mom calls him.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. Meg Sorick says:
    1 May 2017 at 8:22 am

    I’m more of a Start TREK nerd than a Star Wars nerd. So I have no strong opinions on Yoda. But now I’m curious… was he always a little troll or is that because he’s so aged? Could you ask your son for me? Lol!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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