bitchfest | s – serving size #atozchallenge

Posted on 22 April 2017 by what sandra thinks

#atozchallenge 2017 | bitchfest | what sandra thinks

[Disclaimer: Some exaggeration and humor follow… but truth follows also. And much foul language.]

s | serving size

I was going to write about small talk. I hate it… I suck at it… and I really don’t want to be better at it because it makes me feel like a phony. But… that pretty much says it all. Then I thought about spam, but everyone has received that email promising a bigger, better version of a body part I do not possess. And snobs… I could go on about pretentious snobs. But I don’t want to do that. I already hated people.

I moved on to something that truly affects my daily life. Food. Drink. Sustenance. And the ‘proper‘ consumption thereof. I try to take care of myself… and my children. I want them to have good habits… to enjoy yummy things but maintain a proper healthy lifestyle. We are not perfect… and we are busy. Everything we consume doesn’t come out of the ground… or from the farm. So… I am constantly reading nutrition labels. And it does leave me with some questions…

Mainly this one:
Who the fuck determines ‘serving size’?  The company that owns product? The FDA? Who makes this shit up? Because most of it is ridiculous.

Let’s take a look at a few examples… then you tell me if I’m the one who’s crazy. [About this, I mean. We all know I’m crazy in fifty other ways…]

Friendly’s Forbidden Chocolate Ice Cream (or any ice cream). Serving size: 1/2 cup. Yes… one-half cup. Are you fucking kidding me? If you can eat just 1/2 cup of this deep dark chocolatey deliciousness, I’m not sure you’re human. Because I’m going to eat the whole damn 1.5 quart carton. And fuck you ice cream makers — those cartons used to be a half-gallon.

Almost every kind of bread available. Serving size: 1 slice. What the fuck? I am not cutting that bad boy in half to make a tiny sandwich. Maybe if I’m in the midst of a terrible stomach flu, I’d eat one piece of toast. But come on now. One fucking slice of bread. What-the-fuck-ever.

Peanut Butter. Serving size: 2 tablespoons. Two measly tablespoons. I love peanut butter so that’s not quite enough for my pb&j sandwich. But wait, let me share something with you: I’ve already eaten more than two tablespoons right off the knife before I even start making the damn sandwich.

Honey Nut Cheerios (or most cereals). Serving size: 3/4 cup. Go ahead… measure that out and dump it into a bowl. Maybe I’m a pig… but that’s not enough. Guess I need a smaller bowl. Like, the ones I used when my kids were toddlers.

Coffee. Serving size: 1 cup (8 oz.). Ahahaahahaaahahahhahaaaa.

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#atozchallenge | bitchfest
© 2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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39 Responses to bitchfest | s – serving size #atozchallenge

  1. sonofabeach96 says:
    22 April 2017 at 10:13 am

    Hahaha! 8oz of coffee?!?! Hahahahaha. That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all year! What am I, a Lilliputian?!? 8 oz’s is like two gulps. Better multiply that by….a lot, for this guy. 😃

    Liked by 2 people

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  2. ladieswholunchreviews says:
    22 April 2017 at 3:04 pm

    I agree with all of that. And the way they keep the price the same and make the size box or bag smaller. Like we’re too stupid to notice that? But why is it when you eat out, everything is mega sized at normal restaurants? I’d rather pay less and not take it home and then end up throwing out leftovers!

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. gigglingfattie says:
    22 April 2017 at 7:07 pm

    hehe samesies!!! Especially with the peanut butter. Lately, I’ve been trying to cut down on snacking, and we eat dinner super early at work (sometimes like 4:30) so when I get home around 9, I’m soooo hungry! I just grab a spoon and dig out a huge dollop of peanut butter and eat it right off the spoon haha

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. stomperdad says:
    23 April 2017 at 11:24 am

    Those serving sizes never made much sense to me. When I put PB on my Ritz cracker I use 2 TBSP per cracker. I’m with you on the ice cream. I don’t trust anyone who can eat just a 1/2 cup.

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. mandibelle16 says:
    23 April 2017 at 1:45 pm

    Haha, good one Sandra. Portion size is important on both sides of the specturum for instance, the red wine glasses that I have that I drink wine out of and are way bigger than the wine glasses my parents got for the wedding day. I mean I’m pretty sure after three to four of generous glasses of mine, the bottle is gone but with the ones my parents have it would take you 6 to 7 glasses. I also have read many thing that say when you go to a restaurant or a pub/bar the sizes of most drinks and the amount if alcohol in each drink is way more than in the past. So that’s a good thing.

    On the other side, You can find bread that’s a serving with two slices. We go to a couple grocery store bakeries — Sobeys and Save On Foods and get multigrain bread (which mostly tastes like normal bread) and it’s 120 something for two slices. So hopefully at somegroxety store where you live the bakery bread might be a better option as is multigrain as compairex to wheat or white bread. It’s the best for you too.

    Also I heartily agree with you about the cereal, the serving size is crap. I’d say 1 Cup to 1 1/2 cups is a better portion when you really want to it cereal as an adult. I’m guilty of it not for breakfast, but as a mid size snack 🙂

    There are many other samples for sure, for instance kraft peanut butter with 25 less fat, is still 70calories for 1 tbsp, but 1 tbsp or even two, is never quite enough. Thank goodness for the two pieces of bread worth one 🙂

    Great A to Z Challenges 💕🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. Meg Sorick says:
    23 April 2017 at 6:47 pm

    The serving sizes are ridiculous. Although I think the cereal serving is meant to be “part of a healthy” breakfast… so you’re meant to eat more than just cereal as your meal. That means I get pancakes too… 😅

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. Outside Perception says:
    23 April 2017 at 7:28 pm

    I have to chime in on the coffee. Long before I saw those big cups on the Gilmore Girls… I had them. Right now in front of me are two big mugs from today and a 20oz 7-11 cup. I’d say I drank a pot today at the very least. I know it’s bad for me, it keeps the narcolepsy at bay… to much to do to sleep, eventually I’ll pass out coffee or not but in the meantime.. must, keep, typing.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • what sandra thinks says:
      23 April 2017 at 10:44 pm

      I have had several cups at home today and 2 from the outside. And hey, coffee is good for you. Seriously, it has many health benefits… good for the liver, lowers risk of type 2 diabetes and alzheimers and heart disease… Not that I need a reason to drink it…!

      Liked by 1 person

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  9. magarisa says:
    24 April 2017 at 12:01 pm

    I”m with ya on peanut butter!

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Eli Pacheco says:
    24 April 2017 at 12:30 pm

    I’m 37 types of pissed off just reading this, Sandra. I love the energy drinks that say they’re “2.5 servings” in a can. WTF? I’ve replaced the nutrition label with one rule of thumb (and whichever fingers I decide to stick in a gawdam bag) – serving size one package/bottle/can/box. If it’s open, eat until it’s gone.

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. KatieComeBack says:
    3 May 2017 at 9:07 am

    OK first of all if a coffee serving is 8 oz now, they’ve updated it – most coffee makers make a “cup” of 6 oz. To whicsh I say HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Chips. One serving is like…10 chips. That’s one BITE!

    And ice cream pints. One container is supposed to serve FOUR. Four what? Ants???

    I’m with ya, chica….

    Liked by 1 person

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