I hate the outdoors.
Not in every way, of course. Like most people, I enjoy the beautiful things. I love a nice walk on a pleasant day. Or warm sand between my toes as I stare out at the ocean. Or swimming in Mom’s pool. Or irresponsibly going a little too light on the sunscreen so I get a little color on my pale skin. Yeah… I like those things…
And I love going for aimless drives when it’s warm enough to have the windows open with the music blaring so I can sing as loud as I want and no one will tell me I’m off key. Does that even count as outdoors? Probably not.
But… but… but…
If you’re going to be outside, don’t forget to bring a drink. Must remain hydrated. Some music, maybe? Something to read? Basically, pack a bag. Or… just stay inside where you already have all those things at the ready.
Even if I’m close enough to anywhere to maintain wifi access, using a laptop outside is ridiculously awkward. Using a phone is better but still problematic. The screen needs to be at maximum brightness… and even then, the glare…
And what if it starts to rain? Ugh… then you have to collect all your shit and hurry inside where you probably should have stayed in the first place.
There is no comfortable way to sit on the grass. And the little blades touch my legs and I feel like something’s crawling on me and I have to stand up and if I’m going to sit, why the hell wouldn’t I just do it on a comfy sofa?
But none of that matters. Because one outdoor issue trumps all others.
Outdoors… is where the bugs are. Creepy crawly flying stinging biting disease-carrying creatures. No thanks. Keep your West Nile. Keep your Lyme Disease. And I’ll keep my Netflix.
what sandra thinks 
I take it you don’t camp? 😃
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Once in my life. With my juggling ex, actually… lol 😃
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Hahaha! Did he juggle Coleman lanterns for ya’? I love camping, especially back country. I actually lived in a tent for a while when I was traveling solo out west. Bears kinda suck, and mountain lions. But other than that…. 😃
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Nope… I could never do it. I barely made it through that time. I think I asked him about 100 times if we could just get a motel room… even a crappy one! But he wanted me to experience the camping thing. And it wasn’t even THAT backwoods… there was a little building thingy with a bathroom… no shower… just toilet and sink. However, being afraid of the dark… I could not go alone once it was dark. LOL.
Also no on the lanterns.
Also, I knew you would be a camper… and not mind the bugs and assorted vermin. 😀
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Ha! I love being out like that, off the grid, and alone. But, the bathroom thing is an issue. Digging a hole isn’t ideal, and, you know, poison ivy or oak. Not good. But I’d rather go au natural than use one of those campground pots. Spiders like this things, man. I don’t dig the spiders…especially when they have access to the tender bits. Not cool. 😃
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Haha… Nope. The screen on my side door has a hole in it that needs to be repaired and I keep forgetting… so I put duct tape on either side… because without it, I can’t have the door open! LOL
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That’s funny. Watch out for that rogue skeeter. Likely has an appetite and a bad attitude. 😃
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1000000% agree!
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I’m glad I’m not alone! Was kind of waiting for people to think I was nuts… 🙂
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ooo no – definitely not alone!
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If I have to ‘rough it’ that means, like, Holiday Inn.
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Im ok camping -but I still hate the outdoors haha
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I could go camping if I had a huge RV that was pretty much like a hotel room. 😀
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Oh yes me too!
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You are funny! I love the outdoors! My husband however, would agree with you 100% – it’s usually the other way around. I don’t generally try to ‘work’ outdoors with laptop or tablet. When I’m outside, it’s to walk, hike, swim, etc. And maybe take a nap in the hammock!
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But those are the things I LIKE about outdoors… walking, swimming, napping! But the whole sitting around outside… even for a party of some kind… where you have to sit on the grass or be anywhere near the ticks and such… Other than wanting a tan, I’d much rather be inside. Without bugs… with air-conditioning. 🙂
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Ok, I see your point. And in the hot weather, if there’s no water around – pool, ocean, etc. you die of the heat.
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The humidity kills me. It may be the only time I wish for snow… lol
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I love that you mentioned ‘the blades of grass tickling your leg and making you think something is crawling on you’. I always forget about that. In the midst of Canadian winter, I start to romanticize the summer (which I am currently doing). It’s all cotton candy, sunshine and Ferris wheel rides. In the winter, when I dream of summer, it is a place where there is one wasp. In the whole world. And he never finds me.
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That’s so true! When there are 2 or 3 feet of snow outside, I can’t wait until I can run around outside with no coat… then when it’s hot as hell with tons of humidity in the middle of summer, I wish it would snow. 😀
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I’d like to ironically comment… ‘the grass is always greener…’
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Hammocks… Make outdoors all worth it.
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Yeah… the pleasant stuff is good. Like I was saying… a nice walk… swimming… stuff like that. But the bugs… and creatures. Man has been building shelter forever… it was the goal. Now that we have it, everyone wants to go outside…! 😀
Also, I do not have a hammock or anywhere to put one! Bummer!
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I have a free standing one… think we got it at Home Depot.
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I’ll have to look into that. Not much space even for that… but more likely than attaching it to trees. I’ll also need some sort of bug repellent that basically creates an invisible dome of safety around me. Hahaha 😀
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They have them with the bug repelling magic installed on some.
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That’s cool. Or maybe I should just hang one from the ceiling in my bedroom. 😀 Hahaha
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Years ago we added a sunroom and if I want o eat outdoors, I put a table in there and open the windows, hahaha. Camping? Shudder… I’m more a Westin kind of girl 😉
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Exactly! I love open windows when the weather’s beautiful. But eating outside with the bugs flying around me? No thanks! And that tickling grass… I’d rather sit on the freakin’ pavement. LOL.
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Agreed…
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You cant beat the open road, the wind in your hair and the music blaring!…and no passengers, very important 😉
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Yes… that is most important!
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Haha. You need to come camping with me Sandra. I’ll show you a different (and much comfort) version of the outdoors. 😊
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That would be great! Just keep the bugs away… Your car spider story scared the life out of me! 🙂
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Oh, me too, trust me!
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Gosh, we are so much alike! I like the outdoors but with a drink, must have my phone, something to read and HATE bugs! LOL
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Yes… the nice outdoors… the controlled environment outdoors. But not the woods or anything! And camping is out of the question! 🙂
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Camping….Yuck. I’d rather have 3 root canals
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I do love outside if I’m DOING something – hiking, kayaking. If I just want to sit, drink read…keep me indoors where there are fewer stingy bite-y itch-inducing critters.
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I cannot deal with the critters. There was a cricket in my kitchen about an hour ago. I kinda wanted to go sit in the car. 😃
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Ha – the other day when I left work there was a spider on my windshield. ON THE INSIDE. whyyyyyyyyy
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Oh my god, I really HATE when something like this happens in the car… especially while I’m driving. I almost died in a massive accident once because there was a spider on my arm!
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Spiders I can handle. Bees? Wasps? SET FIRE AND RUN
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I don’t have a huge fear of spiders specifically, but when I see anything crawling on me, I freak out… spider, ant, fly, anything. So if that happens while I’m driving… well, that’s not good!
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Amen to that….Life is hard enough without the insect surprise party. lol
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