the m’s and beyond

Posted on 15 April 2017 by what sandra thinks

I’m struggling to write… but I’m sure you already know that… it’s got to be painfully obvious with the crap I’ve been posting. My alphabet is crumbling. I may not make it with M tomorrow. I have to bake some cookies and make some chocolate covered toffee and and a cheesecake. Sunday may be a day off from the alphabet, but it’s Easter. I won’t have any writing time. And if M is late, I’ll be behind for N. And every other letter after that.

Sigh. Fail.

Something is wrong with me. My brain isn’t working. I might be able to get the music post out there… maybe. But even then, every word I write sounds so stupid. It’s like I suddenly have nothing in my head. I can’t get thoughts on paper. Hell, I can’t get thoughts at all.

I’m frustrated with myself. This has been going on for days… it feels like I’ll never write anything decent again. Not for this challenge… not fiction… not poetry… just nothing.

I know I’m supposed to give myself a break, but I don’t have time for that. And I don’t want a break! I want to be able to write again without sounding like an idiot.

In my head, I’ve been doing really well… I feel good. Right now is the first time I’ve cried in a few weeks. That sounds pathetic but a few weeks is really good for me. But my incapacity to write is breaking me.

My husband finds it hilarious that I’m having trouble finding things to bitch about. Or trouble writing about them when I do find something.

I’m not going to quit or anything… but I have no idea if I’m going to be able to post anything good anytime soon. To all of you… my friends and readers… all my recent new followers. I’m sorry. I hope it gets better… and I hope you’ll still be here to see it.

swirl.

©2017 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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29 Responses to the m’s and beyond

  2. Mary B says:
    15 April 2017 at 3:49 am

    M is for Maybe
    Maybe we’ll see a post from you, Maybe we won’t. Either way, don’t beat yourself up over it. Hell, I’m a day or two behind in commenting and responding to comments. We’re halfway through the alphabet and I’m TIRED! Hang in there!

    ~Mary
    Jingle Jangle Jungle
    #AtoZChallenge 1970’s Billboard Hits

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply
  3. James Dillon says:
    15 April 2017 at 6:50 am

    you must NOT DOUBT yourself!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  4. James Dillon says:
    15 April 2017 at 7:10 am

    I would happily read your shopping list Sandra or a brief diary of a day?

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  5. ladieswholunchreviews says:
    15 April 2017 at 8:07 am

    Yep, short is better and easier. And your kale post was perfect!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  6. Marquessa says:
    15 April 2017 at 9:15 am

    We will always be here! Take a break or post short. 6 word stories. One liners. One word that resonates with you.Just a music video you love…your audience loves you!💕

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  7. sonofabeach96 says:
    15 April 2017 at 11:03 am

    Dude! You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. Relax. Breathe. Meditate. Whatever. But chill. We aren’t going anywhere. You give yourself zero credit! And, you’re gonna force me to rainbow, butterfly, and cliché the shit outta you!!!! 😃

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
  8. Diary of a Dublin housewife says:
    16 April 2017 at 6:38 am

    You’ll be grand. Look at how much you wrote when you said you couldn’t write 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  9. Julie Holmes, author says:
    16 April 2017 at 6:39 am

    Ditto what everyone else said. And I like Beach’s threat–cliche the shit outta ya. I might have to use that one in a book 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  10. magarisa says:
    16 April 2017 at 5:44 pm

    Your creativity and talent are still there, even though you don’t believe in yourself right now. If I pushed myself to post something every single day, I would most likely be feeling the same way. I’ll be reading your posts anyway…I’m not going anywhere! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. stephieann8 says:
    18 April 2017 at 4:44 pm

    I feel the same. I’ll working night hours at my new job and I been crazy adapting to it that I haven’t written anything I’m all that proud of in at least a week. I think the pressure of the challenge is getting to me. Everyday I miss a letter I get anxious. To catch up I threw 7 letters in one post. Total fail 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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