Everything ends. Whether in my control or not, everything ends. This song will end. This story will end. I will end. Some endings suck. Some are the best things that could ever happen.
As a writer (hey, you keep telling me I really am one), I hate the end. It’s the worst part. I struggle every time. I hate ending a story. I know it’s why I had so much trouble ending ‘Secret Admirer’ last week. And when I did… I knew it would be painful but I underestimated just how strongly it would affect me. I cried… and I’m still not over it.
And there’s this other story… I’ve been writing it for about 4 years (or is it 5?). I’ve posted tiny pieces of it here — one Friday — and a few other pieces before. I was going to link them here, but I changed my mind… maybe you’ll guess! Of course, I do mess with names all the time so it’s probably not obvious. In fact, I have never used the actual names of the main characters from the ‘real’ story anywhere on this blog. It’s like they’re my secret-special-characters and I’m keeping them for myself by not sharing their ‘real’ names… even if I share pieces of their story. Also, I am a freak.
This story, as yet untitled (let’s call it… JSP… that seems cryptic enough), is currently in the vicinity of 180,000 words. Really. 180k. I came to a point around 140k where it could have (and likely should have) ended… but I just had so much more story I wanted to tell… so many other little ideas. And I couldn’t let go. So when I arrived at that natural end-point, I kept going. It’s like I’m writing a television series… that should have been canceled about 3 seasons back. It’s not that what I’m writing isn’t good. It’s just not truly part of the original plot… or enough of another one to warrant a second stand-alone story.
Maybe someday, I’ll be able to cut myself off… to end the story where it should have ended.
But if I am honest with myself, I know what JSP really is. It’s my fake journal. It’s my fantasy life. It’s where I go to escape. If I end it, I lose my secret hiding place.
Why would I want to do that?
I feel what you are saying. I feel similar to my Tyler and Delaney characters because they have been rolling around in my head since 1998. For me too, i would be sad to see it end. Then I realized that it doesn’t have to…it could evolve into more than story that evolves with me and the characters. Maybe yours could too. And i think that most writer’s write about their secret fantasy lives…which is a good thing!💕
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I’m glad you understand. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m just delusional! I am trying to come up with more that might actually work as a second story… but so far, that hasn’t worked out. Maybe I need to end it… and just keep the rest (and keep writing) for myself only… ♥
Yes — secret fantasy life… but I really have to stop myself from comparing it to my actual life. That never goes well…
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*more than one story*..
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Aw man. The endings are the worst.
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I love your writing … so at one level never want you to end … but also realise the integrity closure can bring …
May your secret fantasy start – small step by small step – to be your reality
Xxx
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Oh, that would be really REALLY nice. But I really think that ship has sailed for me… unless time travel is a thing… xo
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Maybe just travel …
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Well… that can’t really happen either… and it doesn’t remove the obstacles… so yeah… it’s a problem… 😦
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Then have a big virtual hug across the pond …
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Yup, ending suck. And they zap me as a writer. And I also feel sort of this big let down when I finish something. That story I had such a hard time ending was probably around that long. It was 65 or 66 chapters or something. Long chapters. I still miss them and yeah, that was my fantasy too. It was close to my heart. But I wan’t to see your babies!! 😛
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Series in the making! That’s what I’m always telling Ms. Sandra!
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I’ve thought about that. But I think it’s one story with way way too many extraneous words, lol!
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Aha. Well… then edit away!
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I would but for what purpose? I don’t know…
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I like to edit my stuff… but I think that’s just because I like to get lost in the story again and again … so I enjoy it. And I am weird.
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There would definitely be a bunch of editing. It was the first thing I wrote so I read it and cringe, lol. But it’s already posted so I’d rather write new things I guess.
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You know what? I found a cringe-worthy story I wrote many years ago… and while the writing was just… ugh… the ideas were good and I’ve stolen from it a few times. So yeah, horrific as it was, I still ‘used’ it. I should share an original excerpt… omg, that would be hilarious!
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You should! 😄
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We’ll see…. 😀
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Well, nothing says you can’t borrow or reformulate for future stories. ‘They’ say you should never throw away anything you write – its all fodder for other projects.
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Yeah, very true! Maybe I will. You know, maybe I should since I’ve been having a hard time writing recently. Nobody who reads my blog regularly now has ever read it. Maybe I can do cleaned up excerpts and see what people think. It was a fan fiction so I’d have to change names but otherwise, it’s nothing like the other books.
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Oh fabulous! That would be a great idea! 😃
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See, the thing is… little Ms. Happy Ending over here (that’s me) doesn’t know how to get my 2 characters into another story that’s interesting and involved enough without some sort of conflict between them… which I don’t think I can bear! No no… they belong together…! Hell, it’s possible I don’t even have enough plot/conflict for the first book-length part…
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Oh how about an external conflict they must face together? Old girlfriend/boyfriend shows up to cause trouble. Or case of mistaken identity and one or the other must prove their innocence (not even necessarily a crime, just an embarrassing situation) Hurricane hits *major American city* and they are trapped in the path of the storm. Alien invasion!!!!! Identity theft! Honeymoon disaster – pirates on the Indian Ocean! Sasquatch in the Adirondacks! 🤗
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OMG… you’re crazy! (In the good way!) Actually… where they live would work for a hurricane… and there is an ex who could show up. Also… sasquatch… hahaha!
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Awesome! There you go! 😂
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Definitely a let down! That’s why I was sobbing after I finished ‘secret admirer’…! I hate it! But… I also hate to go on and have it seem dragged out…
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I know what you mean!
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Oh, I feel ya! Which is exactly why my planned trilogy has morphed into a never ending series… because I couldn’t let them go either. I honestly think that if I ever give up on the books, the story will go on in my head anyway!
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Yeah. You can always keep going just for you. That’s what it seems I do. Of course, everything I write is just for me since I’ll never have a real book, I’m sure. Plus… what I just said on your other comment to Vic… which I didn’t realize was to her, so I barged in like a bitch. Sorry.
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No, no! I commented there so we could all talk about it!
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Sounds interesting Sandra. I’d love to read it when it’s complete. You might just have to have two parts to your story or three? That does seem to be why we love serials so much on blogs and for book series. One book is such a tiny space to cram so much in so it’s understandable 🙂
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Maybe someday, I will feel like at least some part of it is complete!
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Why not decide what goes in the book, and then put the rest in “chapters” online as you see fit? That way those who love the book can continue the story with you!
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That would work, I think… Some of the later parts are a little like stand-alone vignettes..
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I can totally see that at the end of a book: “Hungry for an epilogue? The story continues at http://www.website.com” with some teaser….I’d go check it out!
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That is a great idea! Thanks 🙂
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