I want someone
who will understand me
even when I know
(and she knows)
I am being completely
illogical
(and even a little crazy)
I want someone
who will keep my secrets
and tell me hers
even the ones
never before shared
(and the ones
that humiliate us)
I want someone
who will not abandon me
for a newer model
because she would never
think I am replaceable
(even when I wish
I could replace myself)
I want someone
who magically knows
when I need her
and she is there for me
with a hug
(and maybe
some really good coffee)
I want someone
who will show me
what’s amazing about me
even when I am blind
to all but darkness
(and remind me
darkness is good too)
I want someone
who will make me laugh
even when I think
I never will again
(and of course
laugh so much
that we both cry)
I want someone
who will be with me
even when I don’t
want to be with myself
because she loves me
(even when
I am wholly unloveable)
I want someone
who will share the laughter
and the tears
and the hugs
and the connection
and the love
(I want a friend)
what sandra thinks 
Not to much to ask for, methinks. 💜😊
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Oh… but maybe it is…
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I don’t think so. ♥♥
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Well, I wish I could find this friend… or she could find me… because I’d love to meet her…
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I hope this doesn’t sound patronising (I definitely don’t mean it that way), but a deep friendship takes time to cultivate.
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No, I understand that… and I agree. But I also think it has to be the right person… one who just fits, connects. I don’t think it can be forced or built with someone if there’s no connection. That’s what I don’t have… and don’t know how to find…
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I agree that a connection cannot be forced. The blogosphere is a good place to look for the “right person”, but like you, I don’t know how to go about it except to interact with fellow bloggers.
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Yeah. I guess I’ve just been feeling a bit lonely lately…
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I understand. Do you feel more lonely when you’re alone or when you’re with your family?
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Lately, when I’m alone… but it has been the other way at times. When my kids are around me, though, it’s less…
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And when you’re with John? No need to answer if it’s getting too personal. We can change the subject if you want.
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With John, it varies… Not avoiding the question… that’s the real answer!
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Actually, I do understand that.
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I hardly ever feel lonely when I’m alone.
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I never used to feel lonely when alone… but maybe that’s the problem — maybe I’m really not lonely when I’m alone. What happens when I’m alone is that something comes into my head that’s troubling me… and everything else that’s also troubling me piles on… and I become a mess… and then I feel lonely because I feel kind of helpless and wish I could talk it out with someone… and then I realize that there’s no one and… well, you get the idea…
And today, I had a pretty major panic attack… that I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from… it’s scary sometimes when that happens while I’m alone… so I guess at the moment, alone seems bad. Kids are sleeping now and John is downstairs… and I’m not able to keep the tears in. So maybe alone isn’t lonely right now… it’s just lack of distraction, maybe?
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Having a panic attack alone sounds extremely scary. I’m so sorry you had to go through that! Yes, perhaps the problem with being alone is having your thoughts go out of control without anything/anyone to stop them.
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And also, I am a mess!
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Hmm…don’t want to like that comment. I wish I could help!
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It’s okay. I know none of this is anything that anyone can help with (not directly). That’s why I am all apologies when I go on about it — people are so nice and they want to help but I don’t expect that from anyone! I think I just need to let it out sometimes and feel like anyone is listening… and anyone cares. But the ‘fixing’? I need to figure out how to fix it myself… It is really really hard and I have no idea if I will ever be able to do it. But I don’t ever expect anyone else to be able to fix me!
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You’re too intelligent for your own good. 😉
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Do you have any idea how many times I’ve thought “I wish I was a moron”… so I would not overthink things so much? Of course, I do not wish that… but I would like an on/off switch.
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I’ve thought so many times “I wish I was an airhead”…same thing. 😉
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This is a terrible thing to say… it’s so mean but… dumb people seem happy.
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I agree.
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If you can be such a friend to someone, then it’s not too much to ask for that kind of friendship.
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I can… but how do you find that person… the one who you just fit with… connect with? I don’t have that…
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I suppose the more people you interact with (including those online, of course), the more likely you are to find that preson?
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Makes sense. I’m not great at meeting people… especially offline. If only I had the ability to interact more… that might help! Or I just write my life how I wish it was through fiction…
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I’m not good at that either. I have an aversion to social events that involve more than a handful of people. Writing fiction helps as a form of escape, but it’s only temporary, as you know all too well.
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Yes, fiction distraction is temporary. I don’t do well in social situations with more than one or two people…
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I’m the same way. When I’m speaking to one or two people I get along well with, I seem to be outgoing and sociable, but that changes as soon as there are more people around.
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Exactly.
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That would be an amazing friend, indeed! What a lovely poem and a heartfelt wish. 🙂
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Thanks Vic. Feeling a bit lonely… is it obvious? Ha.
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😊❤️
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♥
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I seriously wish we lived closer! I could use a friend like you and I know we would be so much better than Thelma & Louise 💋
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I could use a friend like you, too. Like, in person. ♥ Just don’t let me drive when I’m having a bad day! Oh, and I’ll definitely need a better version of Brad Pitt… he’s not my first choice. 😛
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Ha! And who would be your first choice?
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Well, this guy…
But I’m sure I could provide a list…
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A lovely wish. I often wish for that myself.
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Hoping you have people in your life you can talk to. Friends you grew up with, or have stuck with you along the way. Even on here, I think you have many. Although a physical presence always helps too. Hope you are doing okay Sandra. If you need to talk I’m always available.
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Thanks so much. I really don’t have anyone offline… not really. It makes it really hard sometimes.
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Yes I believe you. Keep in touch Kay? My contact page or mandi_ae@hotmail.com.
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Thank you ♥
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What a lovely homage to a future friend. You deserve her.
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What a sweet thing to say… thank you so much.
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Well, you do. You’re welcome.
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♥
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