Trapped in this box
Only big enough for one
Somehow I know
It could be twice the size
Yet I would remain alone
I understand
You cannot fix me
I never asked for a miracle
But you can love me
Or maybe you cannot
If no one has the answer
They cannot know
What is right
Or what is wrong
Still I listened
I did their right
But it feels wrong
Maybe I already knew
Right is wrong for me
Yet wrong is not right
It seems my solution
Has become the opposite
I am forever lost
And I don’t know why
I torture myself…
A few words about this poem: I am fully aware that it sucks monkey balls. I wrote a not-poetry post but… I don’t know. It felt… wrong… pathetic… humiliating. You get the idea. This is really not much of an improvement, yet somehow I can actually post this crap…
© 2016 what sandra thinks
About what sandra thinks
Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
what sandra thinks 
This is powerful and expresses the emotions well!
And it makes me want to hug you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And it sounds way less whiny and bitchy than the non-bitchy version… Thanks for the hug…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, it’s certainly not crap. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for that. I totally thought it sucked… And after one read-through, I didn’t even want to read it again…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I’m not a writer, so what the fuck do I know. But I certainly didn’t think it sucked. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have no idea if I’m really a writer either…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I can answer that one: yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. For being so nice to me. If only all men were as kind and considerate…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You don’t have to thank me for anything. As a guy, i feel the need to apologize for those that are dicks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, they are definitely not your fault. Sometimes I feel like I’ve met them all though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! Yeah, I used to feel that way about some women I’d dated. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
God knows what my exes think of me…!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t give two shits what any of mine think about me. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
And I shouldn’t either… but sometimes I do. Or I wonder anyway…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Most of mine were either shitty or crazy. Had one show up at work a few years after we broke up, trying to feel out my situation and likely needing something. I quickly squashed it. Haven’t seen any of the others since that day, about 21 years ago. That’s fine with me. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know this is not crap. It has a circular feel to it. Start here, travel a bit and find yourself back at the starting point. That is really pretty cool. Also the image made me think of ‘Boxing Helena’ the film. Ever see it? Totally psychologically creepy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
No… I haven’t seen it. But something psychologically creepy sounds like me. (I know you probably didn’t mean it that way.) It’s pretty awful that I keep finding myself back at the start. Seriously, when do you just give up trying? Because for me, I think it’s now…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sweetie, so many things take us full circle, not only bad stuff. A circle is one of the most beautiful things in geometry, it’s sides are infinite. It has its own unique way of being measured: the radius and diameter. Its boundaries are equidistant from its center, only true of circles. I am in a very weird place today…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Okay, Mrs. P. (She was my high school geometry teacher…) I think the circle needs to get bigger because I want to get away from the center…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear you…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your description of the circle, Meg!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you!! I love numbers, geometry…. They really are beautiful
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
And thanks for saying it’s not crap.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, its not… 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sandra it is good to be critical of oneself and I see you are sensibly doing that but this piece you have written is not crap. I believe if a work connects to even ine human being that is enough. It did to you. It did to me. And I can see many comments above too. So I think you should pat yourself on the back and smile 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you… this is very sweet. I think I just could not think about whether it was “good” poetry when I wrote it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s not crap. It’s a feeling. And I can relate to to it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Sarah. And I’m sorry you can relate… ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
💖
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is poetry at it’s best I think. Emotion, abstract ideas- it’s perfect. We can connect easily to it even if we don’t have the same experience. Hugs, my friend. ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Wow, thank you. I really though it sounded like crap. Maybe because I didn’t feel like I was writing from a poetry perspective… I think I was maybe trying to summarize the actual bitch post I didn’t post… Thank you again. ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like it! But feel free to post the actual bitch post- I’m sure we’d relate to that too. 🙂
LikeLike
Sandra this is raw and emotional and a lovely piece. Give yourself some credit. Hugs from me to you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you… I think I was not necessarily feeling poetic… so my perspective was kind of a mess.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not at all. Writing from the heart is never a mess ♡
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks… ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
This does not suck! It’s emotional and beautiful. Thanks for sharing it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you didn’t think it was terrible. Of course, I judge myself way too harshly… so thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We all judge yourselves too harshly 🙂 I didn’t think it was even close to terrible!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you!
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s not crap, it’s raw emotion like you said and that is brave and beautiful. I’d love to offer a hug as well. Small gesture, but it’s sincere. 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much, Kay. I kind of hate that this is what I write now… I’m kind of stuck…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sorry you’re stuck. I have definitely been there and it’s not my favorite place to be. But it forced me to fight or fly I suppose…
LikeLiked by 2 people
It doesn’t suck monkey balls. In fact, it really resonates with me. You’re certainly entitled to think it sucks, but you can’t argue with the fact that I can relate to your words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think the thing is… I had written a (too long) non-poetry post about my ‘trapped’ feelings and I was sort of converting that to a poem. So it didn’t feel natural. I think that’s why it sounded terrible in my head. Or I’m just crazy. 🙂 But thank you. And I’m glad that I’ve written something you can relate to… but also sorry you are familiar with these feelings…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shouldn’t your readers be the ones to determine whether a post is too long? Just teasin’. I get what you’re saying about feeling as if the poem came “unnaturally”. I feel the same way about some of my writing as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe too long was only part of it… the non-poetry post was far more detailed. I think I talked myself out of sharing all of it… I went the “be more vague” route instead. Of course, I may revisit the non-vague version…
LikeLiked by 1 person