fiction friday 41: secret admirer. part 19.

Posted on 19 September 2016 by what sandra thinks

fiction friday.

This is part 19 of secret admirer. ♥ (I know, it’s already Monday… so very sorry.)

[Previously posted: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18]

secret admirer.

part 19.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” My heart was pounding so hard, so fast, I thought he might actually be able to hear it.

“What are you sorry for?” His face had the sweetest hint of a smile.

“I don’t know… I just… I didn’t mean to say that…”

“You didn’t?” His smile grew. “Maybe you did…” With his fingers still in my hair, his thumb ran slowly over my cheek.

“Greg… I…” He stopped me with a long, slow kiss. When our lips parted, he sighed softly and I felt his hold on my head intensify.

“Amy… Remember that day I caught you leaving the gym and you told me you didn’t want me to give up?”

Of course I remember. “Yes.”

“I was in love with you way before that.”

“What?” My heart never had a chance.

“You heard me.”

I couldn’t breathe. Or speak. Or move.

“Honey… are you alright?”

“I have no idea.” What is happening? Oh God. He loves me? Sweet, beautiful Greg… loves me. 

I laid my hand on his chest and tried to speak but when I couldn’t, he answered his own question.

“I think you’re okay…”

“I think you’re better than okay.”

“You think?” His smile was just… irresistible.

“No… I’m sure.” I ran a finger over his lips. “Better than okay.” My mouth played with his, but still, I spoke. “Much better…” My tongue, my lips teased his. “Sweet and amazing and delicious and…”

“Amy…”

“What?”

“Shut up…”

I smiled but only for an instant. He took my mouth, kissing me as he gently lowered me onto the couch. I held his head in my hands and sighed when he sucked on my neck. Without taking his mouth from my warm skin, he slipped a hand down my side to my waist. He grabbed me there for a moment before sneaking his fingers under my shirt.

I gasped when I felt his hand on my skin. His touch slowly traveled up my side, pushing my shirt up, until he stopped at my bra. He held me there and took his mouth from me. The heat of his breath washed over me. The strength of his grasp at my side… and the weight of his body over mine… My insides melted.

My heart pounded madly. I think he felt it because he brought his kisses there… down my neck, to my heart, as far as my shirt would allow. I could feel my hands shaking. I let his head go and he crawled down my body until his mouth reached my stomach. The moment his lips touched me there, I closed my eyes and mumbled his name. His kisses traced the path his hand had taken… higher… higher. I shivered… And I forgot how to breathe.

This is happening. Oh God. He is… oh God. I have never felt anything as beautiful as his kisses. I can’t believe I ever thought Dan was good enough for me. And his mother. His fucking mother. Dan never cared how awful she was to me. Maybe he never cared about me. Oh God, why am I thinking about this? I don’t want to think about this. What is wrong with me? Stop. Dan is gone. Why won’t he get out of my head? I just want Greg… I want his kisses… that have stopped. 

“Amy…”

I opened my eyes and found his inches away.

He gently tucked my hair behind my ear. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” Can he read my mind?

“Amy, you’re crying…”

“I am?” I lifted my hand to my face and felt my own tears. “I am.” Mind-reading not required.

“Come here…” He sat up and pulled me to him, nestling my head in the curve of his neck. I took a deep breath of him and tried to stop crying. But when I felt him kiss my head, my tears fell faster.

“Honey.” His words were almost whispers. “Tell me what’s wrong…”

I didn’t know how to explain the chaos in my head. “I am so sorry, Greg. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you.” Again, he kissed my head. And then it all poured out of me.

“Oh, honey… I’m such a mess. My life is a disaster. I don’t understand how I got here. I can’t remember what made me marry Dan. I don’t even think he loved me. And I don’t know why I let Donna treat me so horribly. Her voice won’t get out of my head. Because I’m weak and I’m just… pathetic. I’m so sorry.” My breath quickened and my tears wouldn’t stop. “I’m so sorry, Greg…”

“Amy…” He lifted my head and held it in his hands. My eyes found his again and I swore I saw them smiling for me again. “You are not pathetic.” I parted my lips to speak, but he silenced me with a kiss before he spoke again. “I should have given you more time. We can stop. We need to stop.”

“But I don’t want to stop. It’s not you… God, you’re so sweet. I want everything else out of my head. But it won’t go away. Why am I so weak…?”

“You’re not. My God, Amy, you’ve been through so much in the last few days. Of course you’re overwhelmed. But I think you’re amazing. You are so much stronger than you think.” He cracked a little smile. “And beautiful. Don’t forget beautiful.”

I took his face in my hands and kissed him. “You are so good to me. And I am so sorry.”

“Honey… shh. It’s okay.” The moment he was silent, he knew I was going to apologize again but he wouldn’t let me. “No more apologies.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry.” For apologizing. I was sorry for apologizing.

He laughed softly and sighed my name. “It’s okay. I promise it is.” He kissed my forehead and kept my head against his. “Amy… I was always going to wait for you…”

Tears ran down my cheeks again but this time, they were for Greg. Because he said the most beautiful things to me. “Honey?”

“I like when you call me that.” He squeezed me in his arms and I felt him smile. “I’m sorry… what were you going to say?”

“I want all of this to be over… And then I want you…”

“It will be over. Soon, honey. And then you can have me.”

swirl.

To be continued…

This post is part 19.
Previously posted: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18.
© 2016 what sandra thinks

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
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49 Responses to fiction friday 41: secret admirer. part 19.

  1. ladieswholunchreviews says:
    19 September 2016 at 1:11 am

    Oh, loving it, but wanting them together and happy! Please make that happen! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Miriam says:
    19 September 2016 at 7:25 am

    Oh, heavy sigh, so sweet and romantic but, well, want them together … 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Meg Sorick says:
    19 September 2016 at 8:42 am

    KILLING ME! Hahaha, you big tease! I’m kidding, this is unfolding naturally. You can’t always turn your brain off and yield to the moment when so much heavy stuff has just gone down. Keep it coming, Muffin! I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • what sandra thinks says:
      19 September 2016 at 8:47 am

      I’m glad you’re not disappointed, too. Well, maybe you are… I’m not sure. I realize is fiction but really… in 3 days, she’s discovered her husband cheating, found out he is dead, and had to deal with his mother…twice. I feel like it would be weird for her to just be “over it” so fast… or it would make her seem like a heartless bitch! But anyway… At the moment, I don’t even feel like continuing… everyone’s disappointed.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Meg Sorick says:
        19 September 2016 at 9:04 am

        No way! No one’s disappointed! We’re all just excited for them to get together! This is the tough thing about writing a series, I feel like this about Here Lies a Soldier… The logical progression SHOULD be slow, but we’re reading it over time stretched out, so to the reader it “feels” like more time has gone by than actually has. DO NOT alter the time line. Because when you get this ready for publication (that’s right, you heard me) it will need to have the logical progression of many days passing before they can hop into bed. Otherwise he is an asshole taking advantage of her vulnerable state and/or she is weak or heartless. And in the long run, the reader will not be invested in those two characters. Trust me on this… You’re dong a great job with this story.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        • what sandra thinks says:
          19 September 2016 at 9:18 am

          Thank you for all of that. Seriously, thank you SO much… Because I know it may be a reflection of my questionable mental state, but I was crying over this. I guess I thought his little confession of love (in a way I thought was very fitting for his character) was a big deal… but then it felt like that sort of got overlooked… because they haven’t done the deed. But they are together! I even threw into the dialogue all the crap she’s been through in three days… Anyway, thanks because until I read this comment from you, I felt like a total failure.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          • Meg Sorick says:
            19 September 2016 at 9:30 am

            Absolutely not! It’s perfect the way it is. You can’t let the audience dictate your writing. And you continue to build to the natural resolution of the story. Keep going with the mother-in-law subplot. The funeral has great potential for shenanigans. The story would be one dimensional, if it just revolved around the sex scene. And a good romance (even a really steamy one) has to have a good story going on as a backdrop. You’ve got that. Don’t abandon it, now! You’re a fantastic writer, babe!

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
  5. VictoryInTrouble says:
    19 September 2016 at 11:58 am

    Woot woot!! Love!! Goodness, I love when he tells her to shut up. 😀 I love them together!! Don’t worry- you are not disappointing us! I once wrote a story that took 23 chapters and at least 80k words to get to some sex. Hee hee. People waited or they stopped reading, I don’t know. Lol. But stay true to your story! It’s amazing!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. mandibelle16 says:
    19 September 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Drawing them being together put I see 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. kphoenix1 says:
    20 September 2016 at 12:45 am

    Ah, I love it. So romantic.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Halycon Prana says:
    20 September 2016 at 9:48 pm

    This series is enthralling. Truelly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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