Hi. Welcome to the ‘whenever the fuck I feel like it’ perk.
Yesterday I visited my husband at work. His human resources department brought in a nurse to give flu shots… and I went to get one. This is not exciting. Neither was standing around in his office lobby waiting for our turn.
I don’t see my husband’s coworkers often. Maybe once or twice a year. But some of them remember me anyway. They’re very nice but I suck at making small talk. Mostly, though, it was just John and I, standing around waiting.
Then I got my flu shot… and headed home. Of course I stopped on the way home for coffee. And it finally happened. Dunkin’ doesn’t have their super-delicious butter pecan coffee flavor anymore. Damn! Summer is really over now. I tried to get through it, but it was incredibly disappointing.
I swear… I’m getting to the good part.
I texted John with my terrible coffee news.
Me: Dunkin has no more butter pecan…
Him: Sorry. This might make you feel better though…
Me: What? You have a stash of butter pecan stuff?
Him: After you left here, I got a phone call from Tom
[Tom is a coworker and friend – my husband has known him for 20-something years.]
Me: Yes? He has butter pecan??!?
Him: He called me and said “Wow, your wife looks great!”
Him: He said he wanted to say hi but he didn’t want to seem creepy.
Me: Why would he seem creepy?
Him: I don’t know. Staring at your boobs? Maybe he was flustered.
Me: Yeah, right. So, how did you respond to this? I imagine you said “I guess…”
Me: Or maybe you just hung up on him…
Him: I didn’t hang up. I agreed with him
Me: Must be the new bra. Men like boobs
Him: He likes curvy women.
Me: My curves are nice. Imagine if he knew I wanted to have sex constantly… then I’d probably look even better…
Later when John got home from work, he seemed a bit more interested in my lady parts than he’s been lately. Fucker. He doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have a hot wife until some other guy calls attention to it…
Sadly, this story doesn’t have a ‘happy ending’, so to speak… kids and being tired and other such things… maybe tomorrow. Or someday. Apparently I need to run into Tom more often. And start flirting with him.