Hello lovely readers. This is part 4 of secret admirer. ♥
[Previously posted: part 1, part 2 and part 3]
part 4.
The moment my husband left for work every morning, I felt a sense of relief. Every morning. Our life together drifted into oblivion a long time ago. Sex became infrequent and unemotional. Our conversations were as intimate and interesting as discussing the impending arrival of our new water heater. I found myself thinking of ways to escape. And I found myself thankful Dan and I never had children. Maybe he would have been a decent father but he was a terrible husband. I was happier alone.
Or with Greg.
Those damn flowers.
Since the first, our post-workout smoothies had become a daily thing. Just smoothies. And talking. And laughing. But nearly three weeks later, I still held my secret. I hadn’t planned to keep it to myself, but when he told me he had been divorced for over a year, I didn’t want to tell him I was married. He had no strings and I didn’t want him to know about mine. I knew it was wrong. Dishonest. But I loved the smoothies. Okay, I loved the talking and the laughing. I was afraid I might lose that if he knew.
So I said nothing. And we kept our ‘relationship‘ at smoothie level.
Okay, there was occasional texting. At night. In bed. Okay, every night.
We got to know each other. We became friends. Or something. I wanted ‘or something’ and I knew he did, too. But I had to consider my husband, my marriage. I should have considered them a long time ago because if I had, I would never have had to envy Greg’s freedom — I would’ve had my own.
With each passing day, every smoothie, every text message, it only became more difficult to confess my secret. But I never had to figure out how to tell him. He opened the door himself when he asked me out to dinner… for a real date.
“Greg, I would love to…” A gross understatement. I desperately wanted to say yes.
“It sounds like there’s a ‘but’ coming…”
“There is. I…” Deep breath. “I should have told you. I’m sorry.”
“Told me what?”
“Oh God.” I stared at the smoothie on the table in front of me. I couldn’t look at him. And holding back my tears wasn’t going well either. “I’m married.”
He was silent for a little too long. I knew he was never going to speak to me again. Waves of panic flew through me like tiny blades stabbing me in the heart. But like always, I jumped to that place too quickly.
“Amy, I think I knew.”
“What?” I lifted my eyes to his.
“I knew. Not the whole time. Not when I sent the flowers. But since we’ve been talking, I don’t know, I could just tell.”
“I should have told you. I’m sorry.”
“Hey…” He laid a hand on my arm and the stabbing feelings of panic vanished. “We’ve known each other for three weeks. Well, three weeks since we finally spoke to each other.” He paused to smile. “You didn’t have to tell me anything. But I had a feeling. And I wanted to know for sure.”
“So that’s why you asked me to dinner…”
“No. I asked you to dinner because I want to take you out on a real date. But the more I thought about it — and I thought about it for a long time — I realized this might make you tell me… about the husband.”
“And I should tell you about him. Because I want you to know what that relationship is like.”
And I told him. I told him how distant Dan and I were. I told him that the hour or two I spend talking to him over a smoothie is more than Dan and I talk in days. The inattention, the lack of intimacy, my misery and desire to escape. I told Greg everything. And I cried.
“So we should have dinner.” He smiled. I knew he was trying to make me do the same.
“You have no idea how much I want to…” I tried to wipe my tears but they kept coming.
“Yes I do. Slightly less than I want to.” Again that smile.
“Greg…” I lost my words the moment his fingers reached my face. And when he wiped away my tears, I lost my breath, too.
“What?”
“What happens now?”
“Amy… whatever you want.”
“Oh, I don’t think what I want can happen.”
“Damn. Because I’m pretty sure it’s the same thing I want.”
He made me smile. And blush. And I never wanted to go home again.
To be continued…
😎
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Oh, this is like a series playing out … it needs to be daily, not weekly! Very addictive.
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Thanks… As soon as I finish writing a new part of this, I’m dying to post it immediately… It’s kind of hard not to! (But I don’t even have the next part ready yet…)
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Well I’m definitely looking forward to the next part. 😉
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🙂 I was so into it last week that I wrote today’s part 4 immediately after I posted part 3! That hardly ever happens!
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Sometimes when you’re on a roll you’ve just gotta go with it. How about this week? Do you have ideas on where it’s going?
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I do. I have some great ideas (at least I think they’re great). I’m pretty sure I’ve got the entire rest of the story in my notes… I just need to organize my thoughts, decide on a few details, and do the writing. Yeah that’s all. No big deal. Ha! I suppose I’m also not quite sure yet where the rest will be split into parts… I’ll figure that out as I go… 🙂
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Here’s to next week’s installment. Can’t wait! Have fun with it.
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Loving it. I think many times people who should divorce don’t until they find a specific reason to, like Dan! Love the dialogue, so well done 🙂
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Thanks! I love writing dialogue… Maybe because I talk too much… 😀
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hahaha you have to be a talker to write it, tho! I’m always saying things to myself to make sure they sound right!
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It’s true… I read my dialogue a few times, sometimes aloud, to make sure I’m happy with it. I usually try not to do it aloud if I’m not alone, though… wouldn’t want anyone to think I’ve finally lost my mind! Like, more lost then it already is… 😀
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yes…
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Oh my goodness me! You are unfolding this story beautifully and agonizingly. The pace is perfect. I’m not sure how I want this to end but… I’m totally sucked in! 😃
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I am enjoying writing this because I know exactly how I want it to end… and how I plan to get there… which is great because I don’t always have all of that so clearly in my head while writing… (Not much in my head is clear… as I’m sure you know! lol)
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That’s great, then! Some stories get derailed as you write them! Loving this!
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I get derailed easily… especially if I wasn’t sure of my destination in the first place… 🙂
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This is an awesome story! The inner turmoil, conflicting emotions, I feel it all. Her angst is real. Anxiously anticipating the next installment ☺
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Thank you so much! It means a lot to me… especially that you can feel it. 🙂
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Absolutely 😊
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Well done! ❤️
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Thanks so much! 🙂
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Welcome 😊
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Love it!
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Thanks Sarah! 🙂
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Oh oh oh. I’m loving this. The dialogue is awesome…like I was at that dinner table too!
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Thank you! Makes me so happy that people are enjoying this! 🙂
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❤💕💖
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I love it! Dying to know what happens next!
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Thank you so much for reading… I’m glad you’re enjoying the story!
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Way to leave us hanging. Morally, I know she shouldn`t but I still want her to go to dinner with Greg and much more. Great story telling Sandra.
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Thank you! Hmm… just ‘dinner’ alone wouldn’t be immoral. Probably. 🙂
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No probably not if it’s a friendly thing. I guess, it seems like it’s in the direction past that 🙂
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🙂
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