I have a secret
I took to my grave
I wish I had
Confessed to you
What I held in silence
Because
You should know
I love you
I have always loved you
And I never told you
Now I am gone
From your world
But I float around you
Watching and listening
A ghost of myself
Hearing your words
Feeling your tears
Inside my intangible heart
And now I know
You loved me
You have always loved me
But you never told me
Because I never told you
can I help you find something?
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Oh to look back in regret.
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A lesson, I suppose…?
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“But you never told me because I never told you…”
~Aww… what a haunting piece! I love it! ❤
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Thank you!
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Oh dear! The cost of silence
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I’ve been there, wishing if I had said something, things would have been different. I lost someone who I was in love with that way. But now I look at my kids and wouldn’t trade a thing. It’s life, and it unfurls in ways that no one can anticipate.
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I lost someone this way too. Well, not by dying and becoming a ghost… but you know what I mean. And I feel the same when I look at my kids.
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Good write. Love your finale. Why do people find it so hard to say I love you?
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Fear of rejection, I think, is certainly part of it. If the other person doesn’t feel the same, will he run away scared and screaming? Then you’ve lost everything… and I’ve never been an all or nothing person. If I can only have some, that’s good…and far better than nothing. Also, saying ‘I love you’ too easily takes away meaning and impact, don’t you think?
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Well, you know I always said show me love don’t tell me. Don’t fear rejection. It is a natural part of life. One man’s garbage is anoither man’s treasure. And there are plenty of fish in the sea. I stopped worrying about rejection years ago.
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Easier said than done, I think. But I do know that it crushes me more than it should. I want to be the treasure. Just don’t lock me in a pirate’s chest. Unless he’s really hot.
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Smiling. You shouldn’t look to others for validation, happiness, or acceptance. That has to come from inside. If you don’t see your own beauty and self worth, no one will either.
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Yeah I know. Although I don’t completely agree with your last sentence. I’ve had others think I’m awesome when I didn’t think so. I agree that I should not get the happiness and everything from someone else, but it sure helps me believe I deserve it if someone else sees it even when I don’t. Hell, as I’ve gotten older, married, had kids… with so much focus on making sure everyone else is happy and feeling wonderful, I forget completely how or what gives the happiness, etc to me… so a push from knowing someone else sees something in me that I forgot I had…. well, honestly, it helps. Just as it would hurt if someone told me I was crap!
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You have to find you time. And devote more time to your own happiness. I love my wife, but I don’t depend on her for happiness. She makes me happy. But I can’t depend on her for that. Stop looking for others to make you feel good. You need to learn to feel good for yourself.
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I’m not saying I depend on it or that it would be right to do so. I’m saying it’s a nice boost. Just as someone cutting you down sucks… the opposite is nice. Also, I do not think wanting others to like me and wanting to enjoy life with others means I’m looking for others to make me happy. I know that has to come from me. I’ve never hidden that I sometimes struggle with that. And I have no idea what to say to your second-to-last sentence. It’s nice when others make me happy. I’m not actively looking for it, expecting it, nor thinking it’s going to ever be a replacement for feeling amazing inside myself.
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It means what is says. You don’t to others for happiness. There is no hidden meaning or readng between the lines.
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And I’m saying that is not my intention but it doesn’t mean I don’t like having fun and enjoying others who also think I’m fun to be around.
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Oh, I understand that. You are a pleasure to be around.
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I do try to be pleasurable. Because it makes ME happy. 🙂
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Ah, this feeling… What if, what if…. So sad and so futile. xo
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I know it. I’m sure there’s some cliché I could insert here about looking forward not backward but how’s a girl to write without the pain of the past?? Also, whatever that cliché is, I’m sure it would make me vomit. 😀
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Well I won’t say it cause you’ll punch me in the face! 😂 And that’s absolutely true, our pain is fuel for the writing fire!
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Believe it or not, I have never actually punched anyone in the face. I’ve wanted to COUNTLESS times though… 😀
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I hear ya!!!
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Let’s all vow to speak our minds and no more regrets!
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That sounds right. But I’ll probably still second guess myself!
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Well, let’s all vow to try!
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Elegant and eerily beautiful. It evokes all of my tormenting spirits. Those of the words I did not say and those I said and should not have. Wonderful writing Sandra.
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Thanks Anthony. I’m flattered by your words. I think you’re like me… can’t help remembering what we did and didn’t do. But I hope I didn’t leave you tormented. Let me know if I need to pick up the pieces. 🙂 Thanks again.
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Your very welcome, Sandra. A kindred spirit possibly… No worries, I start carrying with me a broom and dust pan. For quick cleanup of the shattered pieces of my soul. 😉
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Haha… cute. Perhaps you could get me a matching set. Sweeping up is sometimes necessary. 🙂
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There is nothing constant or concrete in this world, not even time nor gravity follow these rules. Everything fluctuates. No regrets, anything is possible.
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Thanks very much for reading and for your wonderfully optimistic thoughts.
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Hello, Sandra. Would you be interested in writing a page of poetry for Girl Poems? I dig the light fluidness in your writing style and I feel you’d fit in well. If you’re interested you can email me at GirlPoems@yahoo.com Let me know, thanks!
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I will be in touch! Thank you!
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Looking forward to hearing from you, thanks!
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