This week in perky thoughts [perky thoughts? I think I just threw up a little]: Mom.
Mom doesn’t read my blog. [Good thing because I would have given her a heart attack by now.] No one I knew before I started blogging reads my blog. It’s my anonymous place of complete freedom to say whatever the hell I want.
I suppose the possibility exists that someone could find me here. Even without my last name or the real names of anyone in my family other than myself. It would only take the reading of a few posts for them to figure it out. But I choose to ignore this possibility.
And if someone finds me, it will never be Mom. She fears technology. She’s afraid to watch a DVD because she doesn’t think she’ll be able to get her television back into watch tv mode.
But I have totally strayed from my mission…
Back to the perky thing… [When I named this feature, I didn’t consider the way my brain always follows the word ‘perky’ with the word ‘boobs’. Is that weird? Why am I asking? Of course it’s weird!]
Mom doesn’t always understand me. I’ve given up trying to explain myself to her many times… only to try again later. Sometimes someone gets you, sometimes they don’t. And that seems more related to ‘sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t’ than I ever realized.
Over the past few months, Mom has been treated for depression for the first time. I think it started when Dad passed away four years ago, but she’s only now being treated and experiencing how depression really feels — what I’ve felt since high school. I don’t wish it on anyone, but she finally gets that part of me.
Before this, she was among those who would say just cheer up… stop being so negative… or other assorted things that made me want to scream. But now she finally understands how it feels, to some extent, and knows it’s not as simple as flipping a switch.
And it is amazing being even a little understood by Mom.
But the real smile-inducer arrived in my mailbox a couple of days ago. Yes, Mom sends things through the mail. Paper mail. Often including notes she typed on a typewriter. I am totally not making this shit up.
Among the bits of junk mail and flyers, I discovered an envelope addressed to me from Mom. And I knew it was from Mom with no need of her return address label because, as always, my name and address are typed. Again, on her typewriter. See my name below.
Excuse the blurs. Must protect the innocent. And also me.
Inside the envelope? Oh, Mom. You still read paper magazines… and you’re hilarious…
[Jesus, every time I look at that picture, I feel like my heart is failing… and other intense stirrings elsewhere.]
And I musn’t forget Mom’s [typed] note…
This gorgeous hunk of a man is looking for you.
Have a great day.
Love, Mom
And finally, a $20 bill, because I’m unemployed and she’s generous and nice like that.
How great is my mom? She may not get me sometimes, but she gets that Chris Hemsworth is fucking hot.
Thanks, Mom.
☼
Dear Heavens, if my mother ever read my blog, I wouldn’t ever be able to face her again. I think my mother had sex three times, since there are three of us, but I still question that. 🙂
It is hard for those who haven’t experienced depression to understand it. Once you do experience it, the understanding is instant. We are lucky that we are able to openly speak about depression now, whereas in the past, put on a happy face was the mantra.
All I know is, if I am ever having a rough day, a post from you will surely make it better. Thank you. 🙂
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Oh — you’re the best! I was having such a great day today… until a couple of hours ago. But this comment makes me happy. I think I’m exhausted (only slept for ~4 hours last night)… so my mood is probably nothing more than that. But I was getting lonely over here… my real-life human interaction is severely lacking… and my online interaction over here has begun falling into oblivion. So unloved. I should stop listening to Morrissey. I’m starting to believe every word he says. Haha! 😀 Anyway, I’m glad to see you — I was starting to think I’d never see you again… since the Paris coffee thing didn’t work out. 🙂 😛
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Oh Honey, just consider me mold. You can try and try to get rid of it, but just when you think its gone, that shit shows up again. Hello, just call me mold. 🙂
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Oh my God, you are not mold! 😀 Thank you for making me laugh — I needed that! xo
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Mold, old….whatever. I have been called a lot worse. Although, I like that so….. 🙂
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🙂
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Besides, forget the coffee, I say drinks. Lots of drinks. 🙂
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I don’t often drink… but when I do, I drink enough to lose all inhibitions and do crazy shit.
[I’m the most interesting (wo)man alive. 🙂 Heh.]
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OK. Drinks it is! 🙂
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I love so many things about this post! 1st: no one i know reads my blog either, same as you it would be easy for them to know it was me even without names. 2nd: love hand written letters, 3rd LOVE typewriters! 4th: Chris is smexy! 5th: you’re mom for being so freaking adorable! 6th: you for sharing such cuteness and making me smile
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Yay! The weekly perk in action — making people smile since 2016! (Hahaha… I know… only since last week.) 🙂
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It’s still true! 😉 even if it has only been 2 posts
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Lovely coffee logo 2 – don’t let the big guys come and steal it from you 😉 Yours is way perkier 😉
Your mom writes real post letters , with little goodies inside 🙂
Turtle Hugs 🙂
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You’re funny. I understood you pretty much from the first comment. 🙂
Hey, what big guys? Starbucks?
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Any others I don’t know about ? 😉
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Big guys? I wish. Hahahahha… don’t tell John. 😉
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Sorry , missing :
…gotta love her even she not always “gets” you
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…even IF !
looks like someone needs a coffee !!!
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My mom does not get me either. At all. And she’s not cool enough to think Chris Hemsworth is hot either. Maybe Tony Bennett… And she has access to my blog but she’s not even interested enough to spy on me!
This is a great weekly feature! And hey if you’re ever feeling lonely during the day, comment or reply randomly and I’ll keep you company. My schedule is pretty flexible. We can cry over Morrisey together! Hope you get some sleep tonight! 😴
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Thanks, Meg. I certainly spent most of my life with Mom not getting me. I’m glad she gets me more now, but sad that it took her own depression to get there.
Sometimes I have those days when I get bunches of comments and feedback and conversations… and it’s pretty awesome. And then I have days with, well, not much of anything…! I don’t like those days — especially when I posted something I thought was great! I know, I’m too sensitive and needy!! And throw in a little paranoia, too. 😀
Of course, there could be a thousand reasons why this happens, and 95% of them (or maybe more) have very little to do with what I posted. People have lives… and jobs… and kids… and husbands and wives (usually just one or the other 😉 ) and other stuff. Just because I’m unemployed and don’t have much of a life at the moment doesn’t mean everyone has as much time as I do!
See, I’m totally logical… yet I let things get to me anyway! 😛 And thanks for the open invite! That’s so nice of you… 🙂
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I know how you feel about not getting the feedback you expected! But honestly, your blog is growing nicely and rather quickly! And the commenters you do have, leave nice thoughtful, meaningful comments. Not just “nice post” or “loved it” which means they’re really taking the time to read and think about what you’ve written. Seriously, I’d take 3 lengthy comments over 15 short ones any day! It seems like traffic is heavy in the morning, dries up during the day and then kicks up again in the evening. That makes total sense (at least for those of us in the US) with people’s work schedules, etc. So don’t worry! And yep, door’s always open! xo
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Thank you again! 🙂 Perk aside, I’m pretty sure my negativity streak is still going to pop out sometimes.
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And that’s totally ok!
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I don’t want anyone in real life to read my tumblr. That’s where I am just me. They get to see all the broken pieces all over the damn floor. No pretences. Its soooo liberating to not have to put on any faces for them. Just be however I am that day. Good Bad or Indifferent.
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That’s why I kept in anonymous here. I wanted to be able to say anything! 🙂
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We talked aboiut this on my blog. My mom wouldn’t get my bog either. And Devil Girl would have her turning over in her grave. Nice post. And Chris is okay, but not exactly my type.
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Chris is an exception for me… not sure if it was the sexy Thor hair or what…. but 99% of the time, I’m all about dark hair and eyes. But probably none of those delicious men would be your type either. 🙂
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LOL Yeah, the Thor hair is kind of cool. Yeah, I am too picky when it comes to men. lol
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Hahaha 🙂
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By the way… thanks for stopping by… I was hoping you’d come over and have a look at some of my recent poetry — I’m always interested in your thoughts since I enjoy your writing so much! 🙂
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I am still having problems with my notifications, so I am catching up. If I missed any I will get to them. I enjoy following your blog.
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I’m sorry the notification thing is still messed up. How frustrating! But thank you… 🙂
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I do my blog mostly the same way, save a very small group of close friends. And sometimes I mail stuff to my kids when they’re at their dad’s – magazine clippings with Post-it notes framing my comments 🙂
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