why I am here.

Posted on 1 November 2015 by what sandra thinks

Journals. Stories. Letters. I’ve been writing since I was a kid. For years, my writing was confined to notebooks and paper kept safely hidden in drawers and closets. [Sometimes forgotten and later rediscovered…] And for years, I only shared my words when they were essays or papers for school… or letters to real people.

The first time I shared my personal writing, fiction or biographical, was anonymously. I was too shy and self-conscious to share any other way. At least if it was crap, no one would know who I was. Despite my lack of confidence, though, some part of me always felt my writing was not crap. At least not entirely. Partial crap only.

Feedback scared me but ultimately lifted me. People liked my work. I was in shock… surprised anyone would bother telling me what they thought. My God, I even felt a little confident. I received responses… wonderful responses.

‘I felt like I was there…’

‘I don’t know how you make sex scenes so beautiful and not trashy or corny…’ [Only when they should be beautiful, though… sometimes it really is raunchy and messy, and I write accordingly.]

‘I admired your eloquence in the sharing of your story… you should start a blog…’

‘I cried, too! An art degree AND you can write! I read all that you wrote and you may not believe it, but I’ll say it anyway: PUBLISH!’

So, with my anonymity cloak hanging off one shoulder, I started this blog. I had spent too much time writing for a single reader – myself. Time to share. Time to share fiction that may suck, anecdotes from my life that may be boring to everyone but me, personal struggles that may scare people.

I want to reach others. Others who have experienced similar struggles. Others who enjoy possibly-good fiction. Others who find my thoughts or stories amusing or interesting. I want people to visit, read, commiserate, and converse. Maybe even find a friend.

So I write. I write for me. I write for others. I still don’t share it all. I’m still more shy than I should be. But I hope I’ll grow bolder, more confident, more fearless. And I hope I’ll help others smile or laugh or think or find a friend.

And I hope it doesn’t suck.

–––

I’ve been here for weeks now – seven, to be precise – so ‘why I am here’ seems late (if not a tad repetitive). It’s posted for Blogging 101. I’m also doing Writing 101… because I’m nuts!

About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, sometimes blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Italy, but she would settle for a non-oceanfront home in Italy. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.
This entry was posted in anxiety, blogging, bloggingu, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to why I am here.

  1. annj49 says:
    1 November 2015 at 10:35 pm

    I just remembered I am supposed to be doing Writing 101 also, but haven’t been 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. The V-Pub says:
    25 January 2016 at 1:16 pm

    I enjoy your writing very much. I think that it’s a fear that many of us have – sharing our creative side hoping it’s received well. I started posting songs that I wrote and performed in, and the anxiety was through the roof.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Pingback: what we think about Sandra……… – suziland too or obsolete childhood

  4. Keto For Beginners says:
    15 May 2018 at 11:45 pm

    Hi!
    Visiting you for the first time via Suze at Obsolete Childhood. After this intro, can’t wait to read more!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

thoughts? talk to me.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.